National Wear Red Day – Courtesy Elisabeth Röhm

Elisabeth Röhm, best known for her roles as Serena on Law & Order and Kate on Angel, is marking a year blogging for PEOPLE.com.

The actress recently appeared on CSI: Miami. She also has a role on The Client List and upcoming films Transit and Officer Down out later this year. She can be found on Facebook, Google + and @ElisabethRohm.

In her latest blog, Röhm — mom to 3½-year-old Easton August with fiancé Ron Anthony — remembers her mom as the inspiration for getting involved in women’s heart health, and shares her experience at New York Fashion Week.

Have you lost your mom? Has heart disease affected your family or friends? Let Elisabeth know in the comments.

It’s that time of year again — where we are reminded of The Heart Truth.

The truth of the matter is that as women, our hearts are so very vulnerable. It is the leading killer of our sex. As you may or may not recall, heart disease has touched my life in a profound way. Last year I confided in you, my readers, about my mother’s recent death from heart failure. She passed away at age 60, when I myself was just 36.

It was then that I faced the fact that I was no longer anyone’s baby girl. I had lost my best friend. I called Mom almost every day and told her everything. I must have had her feeling anxious most of the time, for I never censored myself when it came to talking to my mother. How was I going to live without my guide and consul? Who would be there to tell me what to do?

My faith was tested. Everything my mother had raised me to be became the very life raft that kept me afloat. That inner strength still keeps me going, even on those days that I miss her terribly and dread the fact that my darling Easton will not have the benefit of knowing my incredible mom.

Losing a parent is a bitter experience. Yet it is then, during the toughest times, that we see the spirit of their parenting rise in us. It’s how we deal with love and pain (usually a bit of both) that shows us the work of our parents.

It’s true that I am still nursing a broken heart and not a day goes by where I don’t ache for my mommy. That’s the truth of the matter. But it’s because of her that I have been able to hold my head high, feel grace in my heart and even joy in knowing that she would be proud of my survival. Most importantly, she would be proud of my parenting.

Me and my mother Lisa – Courtesy Elisabeth Röhm

When Mom was in a coma — which can often be the case after a major heart attack — I remember sitting next to her hospital bed, knowing that she was gone. Yet I could feel her holding on to life to be with Easton and I, if not for one day more. At one point, I asked to be alone with my mother, as there were many relatives milling in and out of her hospital room while I sat there vigilantly for days.

When the door had closed behind that last loved one, I pulled myself up onto Mom’s bed and told her that I was going to be fine and that it was okay to let go. I thanked her for her parenting, her consistent loving, tender hand and honest wisdom. She had prepared me for motherhood as well as the loss of my own childhood with true courage. And even though my own heart was being torn apart, I knew my foundation was strong because I’d had an incredible parent.

That is the gift of parenting, I guess. Knowing that your children will be okay without you; that they will be kind, brave and effortless in their attempt to live a fulfilled life. That their hearts will be open and that when they stumble, they will not hesitate to try again, because their mom or dad told them that they could do anything!

One of the many things my mother insisted on with me was that I defend the rights of others and find a good cause to fight for in my life. Now, there’s none better than heart awareness. It’s become my own call to action. My mother wouldn’t have had it any other way.

That being said, I want to share with you the wonderful experience I had during New York Fashion Week. I was honored to walk in my first runway show (yikes!) for The Heart Truth’s Red Dress Collection. For the last 10 years, The Heart Truth campaign has brought awareness to heart disease through the Red Dress Fashion Show.

On the catwalk! – Charles Eshelman/FilmMagic

Needless to say, it was a very personal experience to have shared with all the other participants. Especially after my last blog, it was just really fun to throw off the mom clothes and be on the catwalk.

I loved my Nicole Miller dress and loved walking to the song that they chose for me, which was a dance remix of the Law & Order theme! It was unforgettable!

The joy of sharing in a powerful, life-affirming moment with a group of empowered women — from Christie Brinkley to Michael Phelps‘s mom Debbie — was memorable and I am so grateful to The Heart Truth for bringing attention to such an important cause and defending the health of all women.

Jeannette Torres-Alvarez, Jenna Elfman, me, Giselle Blondet, Rose McGowan, Rebecca Romijn, Minka Kelly, Aisha Tyler, Chaka Khan, Jennifer Nettles, Cindi Leive, Gloria Estefan, Christie Brinkley, La La Anthony, Debbie Phelps and Patti Stanger – Jennifer Greylock/INF

That said, it was so fantastic being out and about for fashion week in my hometown of New York City. Off went my ratty grey sweater, jeans and comfortable shoes as I got into the spirit of the moment with some other super glamorous, super costume-y and somewhat unattainable looks in various other fashion shows. Of course, most of those fantastic pieces don’t make any sense in my own closet these days.

That is, until I came across the lovely Leila Shams and her comfortable flow-y silks, drape-y jersey and cotton blends. The true glamour came in the prints: gems, animals, broken mirrors. I was covered from head to toe and still felt sexy. Not to mention those prints of hers could hide a multitude of mom stains if need be. Not yet a mom, Leila knew just what our closets needed and I was so excited to have stumbled upon her!

At the Leila Shams show – Rabbani and Solimene Photography/Getty

It was a wonderful week of female expression and empowerment. I know if my mother were alive today, she would have enjoyed the whole experience/fiasco of fashion week. She would have cheered for those women who strutted their stuff down the runway in their red gowns for The Heart Truth with the bold message of living long, healthy lives!

We are women, hear us roar!

– Elisabeth Röhm

Courtesy Elisabeth Röhm

Elisabeth Röhm, best known for her roles as Serena on Law & Order and Kate on Angel, just marked a year blogging for PEOPLE.com.

The actress recently appeared on CSI: Miami. She also has a role on The Client List and upcoming films Transit and Officer Down out later this year. She can be found on Facebook, Google + and @ElisabethRohm.

In her latest blog, Röhm — mom to 3½-year-old Easton August with fiancé Ron Anthony — realizes that by being overly cautious, she’s taking all the fun out of a family bike ride.

Please share your embarrassing tales of overbearing parenting with Elisabeth in the comments.

You know how we always look at other people’s less savory habits and think things like, “That would never happen to me,” “I’d never do that” or worse, “What’s wrong with them?” Okay, I’ll admit, I’ve done that a time or two. But we can get into that later — that’s another blog!

For today, I have important parenting advancement or rather regression to share … it has come to my attention that I have become “like them” — that person or parent I thought I’d never be. The above-referenced person that was way off-base, off-track and completely unlike myself. Meaning, I’ve lost a bit of the cool customer I once was.

I’m not saying that’s totally out of left field as a parent. I mean, c’mon — we are tested daily by our little ones. Not to mention they help us grow immeasurably. It would be pretty hard to stay free-spirited and mellow with them 24/7, or with ourselves for that matter. Gone are those reckless outings — sort of.

I am ashamed to say that I have morphed into a bit of a worrier. Truthfully, my poor girl can’t do anything these days without me saying, “Be careful.” I mean, I don’t want her to get hurt. Can you blame me? But I don’t want her to grow up nervous and tentative either. I just don’t like how uptight I’m becoming. I think I need an intervention (just kidding).

It really became clear to me the other night. At 5 p.m., we took a bike ride with Little Miss E., who wanted to cruise on her hot pink tricycle as the sun was setting. And who could blame her? It was a gorgeous late afternoon here in Venice, Calif.

Ron and I followed faithfully behind, enjoying her joy and athleticism. Easton loves to fly on her bike as if it were a horse. Think Every Cowgirl Needs A Horse (great book, by the way). By nature, she’s brave and likes to gallop free — only to be stopped every three seconds by my yelping, “Stop! Slow down.” Easton was just beginning to feel the wind in her hair, but had to bring her bike/horse to a standstill so that I could catch up.

“Okay, you can go now,” I’d say. So, Easton would start to peddle off into the sunset once again with a delicious smile spreading across her face and a winsome giggle — until I’d notice a driveway and shout, “Stop! Cars can’t see you when they are backing up.”

And since the houses in Venice are close together, there’s a driveway every 50 feet. She couldn’t get any speed. Whether it was the road, an alley or a driveway, I was running to catch up and urging her to slow down or stop all together.

Now, of course I was practicing safety, but I’m dialing it back to my childhood and thinking about how I could leave for entire afternoons to ride my bike or explore in the woods of upstate New York. My whole childhood was about freedom and scraped knees. I loved it. That kind of freedom made me confident.

Easton picked up her pace again as Ron pretended to race her — and I noticed that as she turned around to see her father on her heels, her bike began to wobble a little. “Careful, you could fall over,” I warned, as if that was the worst thing in the world. Yes, I began to notice my annoying and fearful warnings as exaggerated and stifling — but it didn’t end there.

Soon, Easton wanted off the bike to do some exploring. I mean, who wouldn’t want a little adventure if someone was calling out to you every couple of minutes to watch out, slow down or be careful? So she gets off her bike to say “Hi” to a seemingly sweet little pup that was in its yard, wagging its tail and basically smiling at us as Easton moved closer.

As she approached to say hello to the little fella I said, “Oh, don’t touch the doggie. He might bite you.” As the words came out of my mouth, I cringed. I was raised as and by an animal lover and even consider myself to be somewhat of an animal whisperer. I would constantly save strays, rehabilitate hurt animals and have been a horseback rider since I was five years old.

When it comes to animals, I am fearless. Why was I making my daughter afraid of animals? Who was this person that had taken possession of my body? Of course I was right, to a certain extent, considering that we didn’t know the dog or the owners, but the pup was harmless. I could have told you that. Yet, I had to pipe up and squash her fun for fear of a freak accident.

I mean, it’s my baby we’re talking about it. Even though I felt justified, I knew deep down that I had to get control of this new development in my parenting.

It didn’t end there. Oh no. Then there was the filthy shirt she wanted to examine and the shower that someone had left out for the trash pickup that she wanted to explore. “Don’t touch that, Easton,” I said. “Dirty. We don’t know who touched those last.” She recoiled as if I had saved her, because she trusts me. But what kind of message was I sending? “Be afraid.”

Ugh, by the end of the walk I had exhausted myself — not to mention Ron and Easton — with my litany of fears. The poor girl hadn’t been allowed to do anything adventurous at all. As we made our way back into the house as it turned dark, I thought, “Ah-hah, I have a blog to write.”

I mean seriously ladies, what the hell was wrong with me?! Who have I become? A mom. I get it. I’m supposed to protect her. But I swear I sounded like Old Mother Hubbard. You can just call me Granny, PEOPLE.com.

And let me tell you, I always think that the best part of my childhood were those lost hours outside playing — the time I fell off my bike or my horse and got back on. Those memories always make me feel like I can do anything. Let’s face it, kids need to play, sweat, get dirty, climb fences, resolve conflict and race their darn bikes.

For the record, I’m a pretty fun, free-spirited and wild soul. I really couldn’t believe the measure of my warnings and the caution I was encouraging Easton to have. It’s a character departure, for sure! So I’m going to work on this — after all, I want to encourage Easton to be brave, don’t I? I don’t want to raise a scared little mouse.

Please tell me your tales of woeful descent into overbearing parenting, ladies — I’m dying to know.

Until next week, my friends.

– Elisabeth Röhm

Courtesy Ellamarie Fortenbach

Elisabeth Röhm, best known for her roles as Serena on Law & Order and Kate on Angel, has marked a year blogging for PEOPLE.com.

The actress recently appeared on CSI: Miami. Beginning in April, she has a recurring role on The Client List, while upcoming films Transit and Officer Down will be out later this year. She can be found on Facebook, Google + and @ElisabethRohm.

In her latest blog, Röhm — mom to 3½-year-old Easton August with fiancé Ron Anthony — participates in the production of a cookbook, which enlightens her about the importance of the family meal.

How often are you able to eat dinner as a family? How do you make sure it happens? Share your tips and tricks in the comments.

“A family that eats together stays together,” so a mom on a mission has shared with me lately. I know she is right and that this makes all the sense in the world. But with our hectic lives and the divide between kid food and grown-up tastes sometimes we find our kitchen table divided. But, but, but …

I’m sure that some of you relate! This mom on a mission — that I had the pleasure to meet and cook with — isn’t giving up on us just yet. She is trying to inspire all of us to keep it together and make time for that defining moment of the day where we are creative, close and fed. “Feeding the mind and the soul through love.” She’s a delightful and yummy soul herself!

Nothing is more inspiring than someone who has hope and is tirelessly giving like this mommy I’m about to introduce you to. I came into contact with Ellamarie Fortenbach through her delicious new cookbook, Cooking With Celebrities and Their Kids. It’s all about her mission, which is why Little E. and I participated. Ellamarie is the real deal and authentic through and through!

Courtesy Ellamarie Fortenbach

Easton and I had the joy of getting messy in her kitchen as a way to participate in her new cookbook that’s coming out in January. Cooking together and finding a connection through mealtime has been important and a challenge for our family. It has been statistically proven that if a family has meals together, the kids do better in school. I’m sure this is true.

Today, most of us are so darn busy! This is a fast and financially challenged world. I know all of us are working really hard and doing the very best that we can as parents. If we don’t make it to a sit down dinner I’m sure that we all still feel encouraged that we are together, loving and present. So what if we don’t have the means or the time to cook a big meal?

However, there is something to be said about having a family dinner. I was drawn to Ellamarie’s philosophy that we should dedicate at least one meal together as a family twice a week. Cooking together and then eating that meal is truly nurturing! Last night we had a big one with my sister, nephew, a friend and of course Ron, Easton and me. It was really nice. I feel so connected today as a family today because we made the time for each other.

Courtesy Ellamarie Fortenbach

I was drawn to Ellamarie’s fantastic food for an entirely other reason as well! I am always humbled when someone gives of themselves completely. She has made a commitment to give 50% of the profits for Cooking With Celebrities and Their Kids to A World Fit For Kids, Kevin Sorbo‘s non-profit.

A World Fit For Kids focuses on Los Angeles public schools, promoting kids to stay in school and teaching about healthy foods. Together this duo is devoted to the wellness and health of children, yours or mine and I am in awe of their vision to create a better tomorrow.

As Kevin Sorbo says, “Cutbacks in our kids education is destroying our children’s faith in themselves and their ability to succeed. However, working together ‘We the People’ — like Ellamarie — may help get the government’s attention.”

Courtesy Ellamarie Fortenbach

This is truly a “Mom on a Mission,” like my friends at Healthy Child, Healthy Word like to tag. “Stay in school” is her motto. Easton and I are in such support of her and had so much fun cooking one of her more sweet treats the other day, Pumpkin Spice Truffles. Oh, the pleasure of food!

When we were cooking, Ellamarie said something in regards to her three daughters that has stayed with me — “I’d rather my children try many new things and just have fun trying. It is when we expect them to be perfect that stops them from wanting to try.”

Yikes! That rang true with me. So now more than ever I’m devoted to making a mess in the kitchen with Easton, PEOPLE.com. Giving her that power and encouragement to cook is truly building her confidence these days!

Courtesy Ellamarie Fortenbach

Join me in a newfound commitment to the family meal! Thank you Ellamarie, we love you! Cooking With Celebrities and Their Kids is going to be good for others, useful and entertaining what with the likes of Kevin Sorbo, Danny Glover, my personal pal Eva La Rue, Maria Canals-Barrera, Peyton List, Steve Azar, Joey King, Ariel Winter, Kenton Duty and on and on; all of us cooking it up with our little ones!

P.S. Another special item I came across this week is the “Sleep Bear” my dear friend Sophie B. Hawkins made for her son. If you love her music as I do, you will flip over this bear that sings your kid to sleep with the warmth and tenderness of her familiar lullaby, “As I Lay Me Down.” She’s made it available to all on her personal website Sophiebhawkins.com. It’s the sweetest lovie around!

I love moms who do good things for kiddos! Tell me what you are up to ladies … what’s your vision for a better world these days?

Until next time…

– Elisabeth Röhm

Sean Smith

Elisabeth Röhm, best known for her roles as Serena on Law & Order and Kate on Angel, has been blogging for PEOPLE.com for over a year now.

The actress, 39, currently stars as Taylor on The Client List, while upcoming film Transit will be out May 11, with Officer Down following later this year.

She can be found on Facebook, Google + and @ElisabethRohm.

In her latest blog, Röhm — mom to 4-year-old Easton August with fiancé Ron Anthony — wonders if avoiding confrontation helps or hurts her family.

Do you fight in front of the kids? How do you decide what’s appropriate for them to hear you discuss? Share your experience in the comments.

I don’t know about you ladies, but I’m a lover, not a fighter. I’m huge on communicating as a way to avoid conflicts in general. I’m famous for a lot of talk, talk, talk, but fighting has never been my style. I tend to just want to keep on trucking, without getting caught up in the superficial dramas of life.

Ultimately, I believe that there really isn’t that much that’s worth getting upset or bent out of shape about. I’m not bothered by much. Maybe that’s a choice, but it’s one I’ve made. Because of that, I find it challenging to deal with others who seem to get ruffled by just about everything. You know those people too, right?

As a way to deal with this, I’ve made a commitment of heading things off at the pass before they bubble up and boil over into a heaping mess on the floor that even the heartiest of paper towels just couldn’t clean up. I tend to talk it out before there is a need for a talk, I hope.

Sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn’t. Ultimately, there is a whole world of other people who don’t feel an ounce of discomfort with conflict, and therefore my desire for peace is hard-won.

It is true that I am likely to put my needs aside as a way to resolve issues … just so that I don’t have to have an argument that results in — hopefully but not always — a great make-up session. I’d just like to avoid the whole mess in general.

I’m guilty of wanting harmony so much that I can tend to avoid difficulty. I sometimes find that I push things aside that are uncomfortable, assuming that all will be better later and that whatever I’m feeling is not really a big deal.

My motto is to not sweat the small stuff. I realize this means that I don’t always speak my mind, but it’s so much better than having a drag-out conversation that lasts hours or even days. This is the case even more so now that I’m a mom.

So be it, I’m guilty of being a pleasure-seeker who wants everyone to not “worry, be happy,” like the song suggests. Because of this, I like the music playing in the house mixed with sounds of laughter and giggles, and just a dose of the real adult stuff that needs handling. I’m more interested in having a good time than dealing with drama over a list of items that could easily cause stress and worry. Everything gets handled in the end.

If I’m the one being confronted by another party, I tend to acquiesce pretty quickly as a way to find easy resolution. “I’m sorry” is comfortable for me to say, especially if I’m dealing with a loved one, if there’s a child in the house, or if it’s my partner who needs to resolve some issue that’s rubbing him the wrong way.

I’m just not one for a big blow up. Unfortunately I find that I’m in the minority in this regard, and that others are totally comfortable with confrontation and even crave it as a way to fix things, move on or feel connected to their partner.

I have found that over the past four years of Easton’s life, I really tend to be an avoider of adult conversation when she is present, so as not to make her feel the stress and burden of adult issues. And no, I’m not talking about the small stuff. I’m referring to the bigger private conversations you’d only have at home and face-to-face.

I think this was pre-programmed in me from my early childhood because there was a lot of drama and adult stuff going on around me from a young age. It was overwhelming at best and scary at worst. Tell me, what do you do in these cases?

Feelings are complicated and relationships need maintenance. People need to talk things through so that issues don’t get swept under the rug time and time again, creating rotten floorboards, with the whole house collapsing because of a disintegrated foundation. But when do you do that with a child around 24/7? I often wonder when it’s actually appropriate to have these adult conversations at all?

So the question is, PEOPLE.com, do you have adult conversations in front of your kids? When do you “get into it”? Do you talk about money issues in front of them? Do you bicker about housekeeping? If you or your significant other piss each other off, do you have it out in front of the kids, or do you wait until they are scarce to dive into a deep discussion?

Have you decided that some adult conversations are good for them to hear so that they have sense of reality? Perhaps you are more comfortable with conflict and think that honest and open discussion is appropriate for kids to hear.

I don’t know about you, but based on my childhood I tend not to want to discuss the difficult stuff in front of the little one. Any time things could possibly get heated, I always reply, “Not now.” Good in some ways, not good in others, I’ll admit.

In truth, by the time Easton goes to sleep, I’m pooped and not really in the mood to have some intense conversation about feelings. All I want to do is get into soft clothes and crawl under my covers for some rest. Let’s face it, you run around all day getting things done and then when you come home you just want to chill, right?

Tell me, ladies, do you fight in front of the kids? And if you don’t, when do you find the time to talk to your partner or spouse? Is it on the phone after you’ve dropped the kids off at school and are on your way to work? Or is it during those precious hours after the children have gone to sleep?

It’s tricky, I know. Many of my friends complain that by the time the kids are asleep they are too tired and not interested in giving up their few free hours to resolving some conflict with their spouse. I couldn’t agree more much of the time.

When do you manage to get real with the one you love? When do you have it out, get deep and find resolutions to the problems that inevitably arise in your intimate relationship? And what is appropriate for the little ones to hear?

I’m dying to know the methods you use to handle this inevitable madness.

Until next time! xo

– Elisabeth Röhm

Elisabeth Röhm, best known for her roles as Serena on Law & Order and Kate on Angel, has been blogging for PEOPLE.com for over a year now.

The actress, 39, currently stars as Taylor on The Client List, while her film Transit is out now, with Officer Down following later this year.

She can be found on Facebook, Google + and @ElisabethRohm.

In her latest blog, Röhm — mom to 4-year-old Easton August with fiancé Ron Anthony — reflects on the changes in her friendships since becoming a mother.

Did you stay close to your pre-children friends? Replace them with news ones? Keep both? Share your experience in the comments.

About to ride a rollercoaster! – Courtesy Elisabeth Röhm

Don’t you hate it when you’re flat out wrong about something? I’m not saying I need to be right all the time (although it doesn’t hurt!), but dead wrong? On second thought, being wrong can be very refreshing and an opportunity for change? This is mostly true when it adds an overall improvement to your life, I’d say.

I’m thinking of parenthood as I say this, of course. Yes, parenthood has improved my life in absolutely every way, despite the headaches that arise from time to time from the sound of my own parental voice. Or those rare moments when I would prefer to do nothing and not be at everyone’s beck and call.

Other than that, parenthood has been the best change I’ve experienced … for sure! It’s come with many unexpected twists and turns.

For instance, I remember hanging out with my childless friends when I was pregnant with Easton, saying, “Nothing will ever come between us.” On no! I’d try to convince them that I would not cast them aside for some new friend that I’d meet because of my daughter.

Ron and I swore up and down that we would stick with our current friendships and not be swayed into new ones because of our future daughter’s budding social life. I recall us saying countless times to each other, “Who would base a friendship on their kid’s relationships? That’s cray-cray!” This was of course before Easton had entered the scene and changed the focal point completely in every aspect of our lives — even our relationship, dare I say.

On another note, who would change their lifestyle to accommodate their children’s needs? This is what the single unmarried or newly-married couple thinks. This is what we thought before we had a little one.

I actually distinctly remember thinking that Easton would just have to fit into our world; she’d come out to dinner with us and simply tag along to all of our life events. This was said by someone who now falls asleep at 9:30 p.m. and often doesn’t go out and about anywhere without her kid. When I do go out it’s usually is some new kid-friendly activity that I might not have done before Easton’s arrival.

I’m just saying … things have changed. I was wrong!

When I was pregnant, I swung so far in this direction of not wanting to make baby-related friends all that I avoided the whole mommy-and-me circuit. You know, the diaper changing courses, bottle-feeding tips, support groups, breastfeeding training days, swaddling … you name it. I skipped all those classes and social scenes and stayed within my clan, asking my mom, my aunts and those friends that had gone before.

Of course, the pregnancy thing was very bonding with my friends that had children already. I barely realized that those very friendships had sagged too, somewhere in the middle, due to the pesky children they’d had and my swinging single lifestyle. Now they were breathing with new life. Yet, it truly didn’t dawn on me that if those friendships were getting reinvigorated, then perhaps I might benefit from making new friends that shared the kid component in common.

So it was the same in regards to my friendships with my single set. I was sure that we’d be friends forever, hanging out and talking about their latest guy problem or lasciviousness from the previous night’s activities. What did I need them to know about kids for? That’s not the basis of friendship. Or is it?

As school began for our little one, Ron and I were friendly but we kept a comfortable distance, knowing that we were rich in the friendship department. We were happy to host playdates, but turn a play date into dinner with the other kid’s family? Take a day trip as a group? Share repeated weekend fun just because our kids are buddies? No, not us…

Then it happened — what I had previously been on the receiving end of. Friends tired of my non-child friendly world, things changed and our interests started to turn towards these newer friendships in a natural way, without our planning. We began to find we had much more in common with the people who were parenting our kid’s nearest and dearest. We discovered that our child’s well being, school path, extracurricular activities and school events were better spent as a community.

Not only was it more convenient to share dinner with said parents after a playdate or school function, but we also found we had so much more to talk about since these little ones are the apple of our eye and shall I say it — gasp — the center of our universe … they most certainly are our heart’s center and have become the grounding force in the latest chapter of our lives.

Not to mention that I now totally get why my friends who had kids weren’t hanging out with me all that much when I was one of the childless ones. I mean for goodness sake, we eat dinner at 6 p.m.! Like ships passing in the night.

It’s been a couple of years now and I have made some profound friendships through Easton. Not only through her friends, but just by being a mother. Thanks to Easton, my whole world has grown exponentially. I meet people I never would have because we share children in common.

It’s funny that I laughed at the idea before. Somehow it made me feel like I was being domesticated and losing an edge. But the truth is, I love our family life and the shared bond of raising children is a tremendous connecting point, right ladies? Like this blog for instance — I love sharing motherhood with you all.

Easton has made my world much more exciting, social and productive through all the new friendships she’s brought our way. In the end, I have found that nothing connects you more to others than the commonality of family. I delight in raising our children together, PEOPLE.com readers.

This time I was pleased to be wrong…

At the event – Albert Michael/Startraks

Just a few pics to keep you updated on our lives these days! Easton is growing like a flower! 

Last month, we went to a great celebration and launching of the Havaianas for Baby Buggy collection. It offers matching adult and children’s styles custom-designed by Courteney Cox, Nina Garcia, Rebecca Romijn and Tori Spelling. The collaboration is all for a good cause, as 10 percent of sales will be donated directly to the nonprofit.

It was such fun! Check them out …

Until next time,

– Elisabeth Röhm

Sean Smith

Elisabeth Röhm, best known for her roles as Serena on Law & Order and Kate on Angel, has been blogging for PEOPLE.com for over a year now.

The actress, 39, currently stars as Taylor on The Client List, while her film Transit is out now, with Officer Down following later this year.

She can be found on Facebook, Google + and @ElisabethRohm.

In her latest blog, Röhm — mom to 4-year-old Easton August with fiancé Ron Anthony — reflects on their family’s upcoming move and visits her childhood home.

Have you ever gone back to poke around a house you used to live in? Share your experience in the comments.

It’s a sentimental time for our family right now. Not only is it almost the Fourth of July, which always makes me reflect on family, tradition and the freedom we are so blessed with in this country but it’s also the end of a chapter for my small clan.

I don’t know why I always feel like the Fourth of July marks closure and a new beginning but somehow it annually makes me pause and think of all that we have done this year to celebrate our lives and all that we could do better. It’s certainly a time of year that makes you think of your life with gratitude and hope; looking forward towards possibility.

Change is happening in our family. Change can be good and yet it brings up so many feelings and memories of the past. So it goes, when you move homes. At the end of this month, we are moving and just like the culmination of our nation’s big celebration, our family is excited about our next chapter and all our hopes for the coming year. We are celebrating!

Yet, with this new chapter comes the emotion of goodbye. We loved the little house that we made our family in. It’s the place where all of our dreams for a stable, loving home took root. It’s the home where Easton was delivered like a bundle of joy from the heavens and the hospital, where we spent those sleepless nights caring for her, where I wandered the halls like an intoxicated love-slave of my child’s every need, the place where we tried our first Pampers and grew to understand the art of the diaper, the emotion of breastfeeding, bottle-transitioning and sleep training.

Within these walls I learned to love profoundly and accept the tenderness of a family unit. With Easton we all went from crawling to those first steps of freedom, which were so exciting to watch. We saw the change from goo-goo ga-ga to first words and now to an expressive articulate child who loves to talk, as well as the bold shift from crib to bed. Now I have a little girl instead of a baby.

Oh, how the time has flown. I don’t know how we will leave this house behind, actually. The new owners might have to cope with me camping out on the front steps from time to time just to get a whiff of our past.

I’m sentimental as it is, but moving has always been tough on me. As much as I look to the future I find I am always attracted to the past much like Woody Allen’s Midnight in Paris.

I recall how traumatic each move we made as a child was. Now, I’m not an army brat or anything, but we moved a few times in my childhood and I remember it with agony. It’s such a huge adjustment. My poor mother had to always explain that it was for the betterment of our lives and yet I was attached to what I knew.

Still to this day I feel a deep connection to the home we lived in from the time I was five to 14. Even recently I drove by and did that, ‘Hi, I grew up here … mind if I take a look around?’ thing that so many of us do.

It stirred up so much of the longings of youth, my parents’ divorce and the heartache that went along with it, the bloom of first love, the dogs and cats we had and the many lost afternoons in the woods, not to mention my little cabin was still there — with cobwebs and a chipping roof — yet intact. (I delighted knowing that other children had found their own personal freedom in the world of imagination in that little log cabin of mine.)

I wandered the backyard and inhaled those years of my childhood. Especially since my mother passed away suddenly two years ago, it brought a closure that I didn’t anticipate through visiting the home we had shared together, the place I had grown up and experienced many of my greatest transitions.

Like Miranda Lambert‘s song, “The House That Built Me” suggests, we connect to each other and ourselves through the homes we have, the rooms we live in and the roof that’s over our head. Within those walls is the magic dust of our essence. Somehow, even if we move on to the next chapter, which we always do, we never lose that connection to time or space.

My old house! – Courtesy Elisabeth Röhm

Speaking of the Fourth of July, and reminiscing, I remember loving putting my patriotic pride on display when I was little, especially during those summers when Olympic Games occurred. I was at the store the other day and saw these cool Pampers Limited Edition USA diapers and thought that I would have loved to have outfitted baby Easton in them when she was younger. (For you moms out there with little ones in diapers — they’re so cute and they really let the kiddos show off their team spirit!) I thought it was very cool to share with you this great way incorporating your tiny tots into your upcoming summer celebrations. Oh, I remember it well!

So, on to our new chapter …

I’m sure one day Easton will bring her little girl back to this house that I am writing this blog in and say to her, “I grew up there. Let’s knock and see if they’ll let us take a look around. I’d like to show you where I took my first step, spoke my first words and went from baby to girl.” I know I’ll be coming back sometime soon to visit, to remember and celebrate the experiences we shared in our first family home.

Tell me of your childhood home, PEOPLE.com! Share pictures if you’ve got them. I’d love to see your baby pics and get a glimpse of “the house that built you”!

From our family to yours, with love.

Until next time,

– Elisabeth Röhm

In exchange for a mention in this post, Pampers made a donation to March of Dimes and paid a stipend to Ms. Röhm.

Red carpet with my girl – Scott Downie/Celebrity Photo

Elisabeth Röhm, best known for her roles as Serena on Law & Order and Kate on Angel, has been blogging for PEOPLE.com for over a year now.

The actress, 39, currently stars as Taylor on The Client List, while her film Transit is out now, with Officer Down following later this year.

She can be found on Facebook, Google + and @ElisabethRohm.

In her latest blog, Röhm — mom to 4-year-old Easton August with fiancé Ron Anthony — reflects on setting limits and picking battles with her little girl.

What are your best tips for working on this with your preschooler?

What’s that old adage — “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you it’s yours and if it doesn’t it was never meant to be.” The same thought can apply to all of our relationships.

I’m thinking of the wisdom my own mother shared with me about ownership, possessing and controlling those we love. She had an unusual philosophy in her parenting technique. She never threatened or was forceful with me. Instead, she gave me more and more freedom in exchange for communication and honesty.

I think that has worked well for me in my adult relationships too. Meaning trying to bend me to her will didn’t usually work out for her (sound familiar?) and so she found another way into our relationship with one another and into knowing me, not just as her daughter but also as my own person.

I think it is quite true in our adult relationships that if we don’t force ourselves onto others they come more easily toward us, since everyone is on some level healing and recovering from something. Being gentle is key. However, in this blog we can stick to the subject of our little ones and how we can have effective parenting lives where we don’t grow to hate the sound of our own redundant and warning voice landing upon deaf ears.

I’ve been acknowledging lately that forceful anything usually backfires on me and most certainly with my precious little girl. Well, at least that’s how it seems these days, as Easton is ripening and developing into her own person with feelings, needs, opinions, relationships and desires. News flash: She’s not a little me, nor should she be.

Knowing which battles to pick and becoming comfortable with my own authority has been confusing lately. Setting limits is a lesson.

I’m one for having a good time in general and have never pursued a militant lifestyle in any way. I think there is a lot to be said for pleasure and lost afternoons. Sometimes taking a walk can be much more what the doctor ordered than working out, just like indulging can be just as satisfying as fasting. Everything in moderation, so they say, and I think they are right.

So then comes the question of discipline and those limits we just mentioned. Where and when and how much? I’m finding it challenging to know what to do with my fiercely independent, willful and expressive child who does need guidance and to practice restraint at times.

As we know, in all the areas of our lives, limits are good thing and exercising willpower is a useful life lesson. The last thing we want our kids to be is entitled and self-indulgent. Still, allowing them to march to their own beat and not projecting on to them what we think they should be doing is also wise, isn’t it?

I mean, trust me, I get that our life experience is beneficial in helping them have perspective and that we shouldn’t fulfill their every whim. I also know that we have to teach freedom and encourage their inner voice to be vocal and proud. Let’s face it, the more we persist, the more they resist.

Making our children the center of our lives is just too much darn pressure on them and on us; we find we are just reacting to every little thing they are doing as we try to micro-manage them.

These days I’m also trying to find the balance of freedom and discipline in my own life as well as in my parenting technique. We deserve to be happy and yet … they deserve to be happy and yet …

Then question of your own personal happiness vs. obligation … know what I mean, PEOPLE.com? Or am I meandering on this summery day without any clear direction?

In thinking about our daily struggle with Easton and in our own lives this week, I’d say the question of personal happiness and ownership has been popping up everywhere. Where to find that solitude where you can hear your own thoughts without everyone pulling you in a million different directions.

Obviously we know our parenting life is full of sacrifice and joy all rolled into one. It’s the same thing in our marriages and other relationships. And yet, even in these important relationships we need our solitude, individuality and to not be told what to do every minute of the day.

I hear my daughter saying to me, “Don’t tell me what to do” as I write this. I guess that’s why I’m struggling with which battles to choose lately, because I know that wandering and quiet allows you to know yourself and what your actual needs are, and not those that are being projected onto you by those you love.

Even my own perfect mother did it to me — parents all over and throughout time have been doing it to their kids. So how do we guide our children, which is our promise and responsibility, without trying to mold them into our vision of the future, of what we are or should be or could have been? How do we keep them safe without pushing them away? How can we stay close to them where they allow us into their true selves?

I’m not suggesting that we not discipline them, because I think without structure we are lost. Even in my wonderfully hippie-dippie childhood that was full of love and all kinds of sweet tenderness, I was personally frustrated by my mother’s lack of structure and discipline.

Children long for their parent’s authority just as much as people long for freedom and love; I think that is true. People crave boundaries. I actually see relief sometimes in Easton’s face when I tell her, “No” or what to do as opposed to giving her too many choices and letting her run the household in her wild ways.

A thought to leave you with, by Kahlil Gibran, as we figure out our own journey and our significant relationship to our kiddos: “You may give them your love but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.”

So today ladies, let’s not focus on anything in particular on this summery day … tell me what’s on your mind, what’s irking you, what’s working for you and what you’re longing for above all else.

Again, our children are our greatest teachers because they guide us to reflect all the time on our own behavior, needs, misgivings and inner wisdom. They teach us about what we absolutely know for sure and what we need help figuring out, so let’s figure it out together.

– Elisabeth Röhm

More from Elisabeth’s PEOPLE.com blog series:

• Elisabeth Röhm’s Blog: Do You Fight In Front of the Kids?
• Elisabeth Röhm’s Blog: The Heart Truth

Sealed with a kiss – Courtesy Elisabeth Röhm

Elisabeth Röhm, best known for her roles as Serena on Law & Order and Kate on Angel, has been blogging for PEOPLE.com for over a year now.

The actress, 39, currently stars as Taylor on The Client List, while her film Officer Down is out later this year.

Her book, Object of My Conception: A Journey to Motherhood Through IVF, will be released by Da Capo in April.

She can be found on Facebook, Google + and @ElisabethRohm.

In her latest blog, Röhm — mom to 4-year-old Easton August with fiancé Ron Anthony — reminisces about her mother-daughter summer spent soaking up one-on-one time with her girl.

Did you do anything special with your children this summer?

Hello PEOPLE.com,

I’ve been missing you these days while we had our wild Indian summer adventures! I’m dying to hear all about yours.

Last we spoke I was moving houses and struggling with discipline — still entrenched with both of those tasks. But bigger and better things have been happening that I can’t wait to share.

Easton and I have had a lost summer! It’s been so unusual for us to spend time with each other for months on end, without Dad. We took several trips by ourselves: road, air and otherwise.

As we would take off on our adventure at hand it would remind me of the many trips I’d get to take with my dad when we would go on a holiday together after he and my mother divorced.

Packing up the moving truck – Courtesy Elisabeth Röhm

Those trips are burned in my memory as times I really got to know my father and he got to know me. We went to Japan, Russia, Norway, Denmark, Germany … I’d tag along on his business trips for a week or so and my world multiplied and became bigger and brighter as he’d include me on his quest to do his work.

Maybe that’s where my wanderlust was birthed that has been the wind beneath my feet as an actor. I love to take off.

Well, Easton and I’ve had a whirlwind of a summer together what with moving houses and our many sojourns out of LALA land!

Ron has opened a restaurant here in Santa Monica called REJUICE and it has been eating up his hours, most especially during the summer because it opened in July.

So Easton and I have been on our own, taking care of each other and having some unbridled GIRL TIME! Endless manicures, professional haircuts, movies, hikes, afternoon swims and tons of social lunches and dinners. We were busy!

At the beach – Courtesy Elisabeth Röhm

We might have seen Ron for dinner and breakfast here and there but mostly it’s been us girls just floating through a string of summer events, play dates and trips. It’s been very sweet indeed, although exhausting too. Makes me think of my single mother — who was doing all of the parenting on her own — with such gratitude.

We have a bond from this solo summer that’s going to stay with us forever I’d imagine (like my mother and I did because it was always me and Mom on our own).

And yet what do they say, familiarity breeds bickering? Or something like that! Well, it may have been the endless summer of love but a new level of mom/daughter drama occurred as well.

It gave me hives just thinking of the years to come. Oh, she’s going to be a willful one. That I know for sure! That’s a whole other blog … mom and daughter fighting. What’s that all about?

Oh, it made me lament all the torture I put upon my mother. As if we moms are responsible for everything: their every mood, whim and disappointment.

Digging in – Courtesy Elisabeth Röhm

With all the change we experienced this summer I surely did catch my first glimpse of this! I’m not too psyched about it, to tell you the truth!

So by the time September rolled around I was like, “How come her school starts September 10th and not September 1st?” Kind of like those last weeks of pregnancy when you’re ready to give birth already! I’m sure you relate.

I had a tear in one eye as she ran off in her new uniform to play with her school friends! Oh, and also there was a new school to add into the mix. Waving with a bit of sadness and yet … freedom.

You mean I can finally exercise?

Yes, I put on all that summer weight too! That’s been fun! No time to do anything for Mommy, but we were an unbreakable and dynamic duo! And it was blissful … most of the time.

On the farm – Courtesy Elisabeth Röhm

In August Easton and I went to Northern California for about a month where I was shooting a movie. It was the first time she went on location with me where Daddy didn’t come along to lend a hand.

So we had to really band together, “us girls” and make sure that all of Easton’s needs were met and that she was getting enough parental attention. My Aunt Nancy came and hung out with us for a portion of the trip and we really got some great family time in!

We were shooting on a 1000 acre property so the kids could run free and be outside all day like wild heathens, sweaty and dirty from romping in gardens and trying to commune with the deer.

She was safe, unlike her experience at home in L.A. where every move she makes is taut with city tension. She even made some new friends she’s been missing and Skyping with since we’ve returned to Venice Beach.

There were animals on the farm and it seemed as if every species was giving birth! Baby goats, chickens, cows, deer, and tons of bird nests teaming with hungry mouths.

Aunt Evy, Easton and me – Courtesy Elisabeth Röhm

It was a thing of beauty and Easton really blossomed within all of that nature. She even got to herd some goats one crisp morning. It was splendor in the grass up on the farm!

After we came home for a month where more of the same hanging, playing, lounging summer fun happened, we flew to Tampa to see my great-aunt for her 90th birthday. Easton got to meet 40-some odd relatives she’d not yet met.

Talk about the summer where she grew up. She met her extended family too! It was very exciting and especially the relationship between her and her great-great Aunt Evy made Easton stand a few inches taller; confident from all the new relationships she made over the summer.

There was deepening of familial relationships and friendships that brought out the little girl; no longer a baby.

Oh, and last but certainly not least — my parents finally did move to California, all the way from N.Y.C. So there were visits with her grandparents and her Aunt Olivia and Uncle Lucas.

With Dad and family – Courtesy Elisabeth Röhm

So much happened to us this summer, ladies.

Catch me up on all your adventures!

Here’s to a very busy and exciting fall together … can’t wait to keep our discussions going.

Let me know what’s on your mind and we’ll start there!

Until next time…

– Elisabeth Röhm

More from Elisabeth’s PEOPLE.com blog series:

• Elisabeth Röhm’s Blog: Setting Limits and Picking Battles
• Elisabeth Röhm’s Blog: The Heart Truth

Thankful for this girl – Kimberly Metz

Elisabeth Röhm, best known for her roles as Serena on Law & Order and Kate on Angel, has been blogging for PEOPLE.com for close to two years now.

The actress, 39, currently stars as Taylor on The Client List, while her film Officer Down is out later this year.

Her book, Object of My Conception: A Journey to Motherhood Through IVF, will be released by Da Capo in April.

She can be found on Facebook, Google + and @ElisabethRohm.

In her latest blog, Röhm — mom to 4½-year-old Easton August with fiancé Ron Anthony — discusses her recent work with St. Jude and why the charity is important to her this holiday season.

It’s that time of year again where as a family we are full of Thanks and Giving. That’s the plan, right? Thanksgiving rolls in after we celebrate with our little Halloween monsters! I love this holiday season where we get to celebrate one joyous occasion after another! There is the motivation to come together and take pause … take stock and ring in the New Year with a fresh and new outlook of hope. he future year is full of potential! Once again, we are reminded of what we are grateful for.

PEOPLE.com readers, I know we are collectively grateful for our little ones who opened our hearts in a way that we had never felt before. LOVE walked into our lives when we met our babies face-to-face. And the journey of parenthood goes on into the new year with its highs and lows, successes and questions. We are blessed to have the gift of parenthood and making memories that will top our list of greatest moments in our lifetime.

Together we have each other to lean on and figure it all out with. I love this community of women who are committed to sharing the mothering experience! I’m so grateful to share these moments together over the last two years.

This year I’m also very grateful for St. Jude Children Research Hospital. I’ve always known of their profound contribution to families all over the world, but this year I’m joining THEIR family in order to celebrate them!

Just to give you some history on this American legend, St. Jude opened in 1962 and was founded by the late entertainer Danny Thomas. Its mission is to find cures for children with cancer and other deadly diseases through research and treatment.

The hospital has played a pivotal role in pushing U.S. pediatric cancer survival rates from 20 to 80 percent overall, and is the first and only National Cancer institute-designated Comprehensive Cancer Center devoted to children.

It is also a leader in the research and treatment of blood disorders and infectious diseases in children. St. Jude has treated children from all 50 states and from all around the world.

And the greatest blessing of all: Families never pay St. Jude for anything.

At the Los Angeles Walk this past weekend – Courtesy Elisabeth Röhm

This holiday season, Easton and I are going to Memphis, Tenn. to meet the children and families there. We want to celebrate their fight for health and learn a little something about the joy of living! I’m really looking forward to meeting the very special patients there like Mae…

Mae was first found to suffer from Wilms tumor in fall 2010. Wilms tumor, which is a solid tumor of the kidney that arises from immature kidney cells, is the fourth most common type of cancer in kids. Mae received treatment at a local hospital, where she underwent surgery to remove the tumor and her left kidney, as well as chemotherapy and radiation.

When Mae’s family learned in March 2012 the cancer had returned, they turned to St. Jude for her continuing treatment. “The top Wilms researcher in the country is at St. Jude,” explains Mae’s mother, Tricia. “St. Jude has a wealth of knowledge about this type of cancer. That’s where we want to be.”

At St. Jude, Mae is on a non-protocol treatment plan, which includes chemotherapy and radiation. One of the drugs she receives as a part of her therapy was developed right at the hospital. St. Jude’s radiation expertise is one of the reasons why Mae’s parents chose to seek treatment there. “The care at St. Jude is so comprehensive,” Tricia says. “It’s so team oriented.”

Their story makes me think of all the other families there experiencing the same support and advanced treatment. It makes me think of my daughter and the big ‘what-ifs’ of life. What if Easton were sick? What if one of friend’s children had cancer? What if we needed the same support? Where would we turn? We’d have St. Jude.

I feel deep gratitude that St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital exists and is stronger than ever. We can sleep knowing that we would have a place to go and that there is hope. St. Jude is a community … it is a family. Just like yours and mine. And it is most certainly a family to those that are counting on St. Jude to protect and heal their children. Together we can continue to strengthen their mission.

Mae’s parents have expressed gratitude that she’s formed friendships and most especially with another Wilms tumor patient, Bailey. I know all of us parents think about our kid’s friendships and want to nurture relationships. The girls are in kindergarten together and share the same doctors and nurses. “We didn’t have this community the first time around,” Tricia says. “Bailey can be there for Mae in a way that I can’t.”

I think we can all relate to the happy feeling when our children feel connected to their community and they have a pal that relates to them and loves them. All the more important when the life experience is what these girls have to go through on a daily basis. They have each other to talk to. At the hospital they can share the laughter, tears and hope that touches them every day. They are friends!

We can also be a friend to them, a family to their families.

Before she became sick, Mae took ballet and gymnastics like my daughter Easton does today. She’s looking forward to returning to those things when she’s finished treatment. Until then, Mae and Bailey enjoy spending time with each other as they fight their personal battle to get well. Just like other little girls, these two delight in playing and making paper dolls, visiting the botanical gardens and making beaded jewelry. They are just like your daughters and mine — they want to enjoy life.

Mae, Jennifer and Bailey – Courtesy St. Jude’s

Recently, Mae and Bailey filmed a television spot with Jennifer Aniston for St. Jude Thanks and Giving, a holiday campaign like no other that unites retail and corporate partners, celebrities, and media, and asks people everywhere to support St. Jude’s lifesaving mission.

This year, Easton and I are reminded of our blessings of good health and are celebrating life with Thanks and Giving, PEOPLE.com!

On Saturday, we participated in the St. Jude Give thanks. Walk. Los Angeles and raised over $90,000. I hope that your family can do the same and that you are able to celebrate with us.

Danny Thomas believed that no child should die in the dawn of life. I know we all agree with him.

Every day of life is a gift. Happy holidays.

Join the mission by visiting StJude.org or following them on Facebook and @StJude on Twitter.

Learn more and please donate online. Together we can save lives and create those memories that make life worth living!

Until next time…

– Elisabeth Röhm

More from Elisabeth’s PEOPLE.com blog series:

• Elisabeth Röhm’s Blog: My Special Summer with Easton
• Elisabeth Röhm’s Blog: Setting Limits and Picking Battles

Beautiful sunset – Courtesy Elisabeth Röhm

Elisabeth Röhm, best known for her roles as Serena on Law & Order and Kate on Angel, has been blogging for PEOPLE.com for two years now.

The actress, 39, currently stars as Taylor on The Client List, while her film In the Dark re-airs on Lifetime throughout January.

Her book, Object of My Conception: A Journey to Motherhood Through IVF, will be released by Da Capo in April.

She can be found on Facebook, Google + and @ElisabethRohm.

In her latest blog, Röhm — mom to 4½-year-old Easton August with fiancé Ron Anthony — opens up about the loss of her Aunt Lolly and how recent events have her considering how much Easton actually understands.

No one likes to cry in front of people. I’m sure most of us can say we don’t like to cry at all. We certainly don’t like to cry in front of our kids or emote feelings that are overwhelming to us. But what happens when we are sad, tired, temporarily defeated, grieving or just plain exhausted by life? What happens when we are human and not the demi-God our children think we are? What do we do with our tragic flaws?

How do we handle our feelings in front of our kids? Those precious, innocent kids that simply don’t get the scope of whatever it is we’re experiencing or feeling? They simply don’t get it. Or do they?

Isn’t it our job to protect them from the harsh realities of the world, our world and yes, soon-to-be their world? Are we supposed to hide in a closet, a bathroom or our bedrooms and let it all out in private? Are we supposed to bottle our cries and our stresses until we wave the school bus good-bye, or we drive away from their academic establishments after morning drop-off?

Is that right and fair to us moms who are just trying to get by, all the while juggling the various things that make us those invincible superstars that get to be called Mom, Mommy, Mama? Isn’t it beneficial for them to understand the complexity of us mommies and the complexities of life?

I’ve never been closeted or one for locking the bathroom to privately exhale, shed a few tears or simply decompress before I lose it. I’m very open and actually really enjoy sharing and perhaps over-sharing. Why hide in the closet trying to stifle our sobs over love, money, career or the fact that our hormones have gotten the best of us and sometimes get in the way of our ordinary sanity?

We should communicate with our loved ones. But our children; our children, who are a part of our bodies and souls and feel every emotion, experience and reaction that course through us even before we’ve uttered a word, yelp or deep sigh of frustration?

Not to mention the bigger burdens of loss, death, the news that so often deals with death and dying or grief. What if we lose a loved one? How do we explain the tears that can come brimming over our lashes and down our face without our permission?

Even if we’d like to be the happiest, go luckiest, best, most responsible stable mothers, sometimes things get too hard, tiring, staggering and quite simply sad on a given day — making it near impossible to be the supermom we see ourselves as.

Sometimes life does get the best of us, doesn’t it?

We experience our life as it unfolds before us and sometimes we notice that the image of ourselves as a “perfect parent” is just not matching up. That can make us feel very vulnerable as parents who are supposed to shoulder it all with an endless waterfall of smiles and unconditional strength.

I know, oh how I know! What did Jack Lemmon say? “It’s show-time!” For parents, it’s “show-time” all the time, right?

No matter if we are burned out, stressed out or tapped out, our children look to us for unwavering calming love, security and safety and most of all joy. So what do we do when we feel like we are coming apart at the seams like a poorly-crafted stuffed animal, with all that cotton ball stuffing poking out in the most unflattering of ways?

Is it really the most responsible choice to hide out where little prying, wide eyes can’t see their parents losing their — you know what — @##^*%^&*%^-cookies?

Having lost my mother three years ago, I tried so very hard to keep my deepest grief private, but as our kids get older it’s a little harder to hide those truthful emotions. They are so sensitive and curious.

As they grow we wonder what parts we should share, what’s beneficial and helpful in growing them up into mature, wise beings who understand that feelings are not scary and challenging experiences are a part of life — you can’t avoid them even if you want to.

And also, this is a BIG one: that dying is a part of living. It is natural and painful and transformative.

Saturday afternoon, late in the day, as I was cleaning out Easton’s closet to add to that ever-evolving hand-me-down bag of kid stuff for a girlfriend, the telephone rang with tragic news. My beloved Aunt Laurie, who I’ve referred to many times in my blog as “Lolly,” had shockingly passed away from a sudden and unexpected heart attack. Too young to die, like my mother was.

The news hit me like a freight train and I fell to the ground flooded by my pools of tears.

Easton was so confused and concerned. Since she is almost 5, I tried to explain to her what happened. At first I thought she was getting it. Then I realized that she really wasn’t getting it. After 10 minutes of crying and hugging her tight on the kitchen floor whilst I tried very carefully and thoughtfully to explain where “Lolly” had gone and why I was so upset, I realized it was better left unsaid.

I pulled myself together, self-conscious of my parenting, and stuffed my feelings in the back pocket of my jeans so as not to worry her any further.

It reminded me of my mother all over again, and how I tried to shield Easton from my loss. The experience was just too complicated for a little person — or so it has seemed. And really, why make Easton endure along with me what would mostly be an onslaught of confusing emotions from her mother? Better to deal with it on my own in the closet, right?

As the days have gone by, I’ve kept my tears saved up for those moments that she’s not around, just like I did when Mom passed away. I’ve waited until I’m in the shower, the car or she’s gone to sleep to break into a million pieces of angels wings that flutter into the heavens where my beloved mother and aunt are now.

I hope I’m being a conscientious parent — or am I?

As I left for the airport Tuesday to go to my Aunt Lolly’s funeral, my daughter still seemed confused by my leaving and the idea of death, as I tried once more to explain where Mommy was going for several days. She just looked at me with shiny blue eyes, blinking with the innocence of kind-of-sort-of getting it but not.

I guess that confirmation again made me feel clear that it’s been better for Easton that I keep my grown-up feelings to myself.

This scenario of late begs the question of talking and sharing with our children about other heavy subjects like arguments, breakups, divorce, moving, money issues, news, loss, fear and all other forms of pain in our big adult lives, doesn’t it?

Several weeks ago, there was some quarreling going on between Ron and me. It became a discussion as to if we should try to explain the bickering to Easton or if it was better to assume that she wouldn’t grasp all the details anyway and to protect her altogether.

On one hand, you could say that children do get it all and are highly sensitive — even to the tense and hushed discussions that you try to keep private — and that in order for them to feel safe, the parents should include the child in what they are witness to.

On the other hand, when we asked Easton in loving and nurturing tones if she had any questions or was worried at all by what Mommy and Daddy were talking about, she simply said, “No.”

We pressed and said, “Because we’ll always explain everything to you and always tell you the truth. You sure you don’t have any questions or concerns?” “Nope,” she said, assuredly and clearly, and then she was off to a game of hide and seek with her Aunt Olivia.

Where do you stand on all of this, ladies? Where do you draw the line? Do you cry, fight, share grief and stress, watch the news, talk openly and show your emotions without question or regret in front of your wee-ones?

Let’s discuss any ah-ha moments where you realized you needed to share more or less, realized you were sheltering or over-exposing your children to life’s tragedies and cruelties.

I always love the conversations that we share, the debates, the memories of our lives and those poignant learned lessons!!

Looking forward to another year of blogging with you and wishing a blessed and abundant New Year for you and your families.

With my girl – Courtesy Elisabeth Röhm

Until next time…

– Elisabeth Röhm

More from Elisabeth’s PEOPLE.com blog series:

• Elisabeth Röhm’s Blog: Why I Support St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital
• Elisabeth Röhm’s Blog: My Special Summer with Easton

Elisabeth Röhm, best known for her roles as Serena on Law & Order and Kate on Angel, has been blogging for PEOPLE.com for two years now.

The actress, 39, currently stars as Taylor on The Client List, while her film In the Dark recently aired on Lifetime.

Her book, Babysteps: A Journey to Motherhood Through IVF, will be released by Da Capo in April.

She can be found on Facebook, Google + and on Twitter @ElisabethRohm.

In her latest blog, Röhm — mom to 4½-year-old Easton August with fiancé Ron Anthony — opens up about her Valentine’s Day visit to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital in Memphis.

My new friend – Courtesy St. Jude’s

Happy post-Valentine’s Day, PEOPLE.com!

I just got back from celebrating the love holiday at St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital in Memphis, Tenn. And it most definitely was a day full of love! I was moved by so many aspects of the hospital, but the faith element of Danny Thomas’ journey in creating St. Jude shone like a beacon of light. If you didn’t know it already, let me tell you that St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital‘s foundations are faith, hope, and love, love, LOVE.

In the early 1950′s, Danny was a struggling entertainer trying to find his way. One day in church, Danny prayed to St. Jude Thaddeus, the Patron Saint of Hopeless Causes, and asked him to, “Help me find my way in life, and I will build you a shrine.” Shortly after, his career took a turn for the better and he flourished as an entertainer. However, Danny never forgot his promise to St. Jude Thaddeus. After sharing his vow with friends, Danny developed the idea of building a children’s hospital as his shrine. That is the faith part.

The love part was that Danny’s dream was also to build a hospital where children could be treated without regard to race, religion, creed, or family’s ability to pay. In 1962 the hospital opened its doors, becoming the first integrated hospital in Memphis. The hospital also played a vital role in the integration of hotels in the city. If a hotel refused to accept an African-American patient being treated at St. Jude, the hospital would not use the hotel’s services for ANY patient.

A lot has changed in the world since 1962, but the brick and mortar values of faith, hope and love are still at the epicenter of everything that St. Jude is about.

There are still times when people within the St. Jude family face spiritual questions, or just need someone to listen or pray with them. During these times, families can call upon chaplain services who are there to help as spiritual companions, whatever the families need. They are not there to judge or change beliefs. Their goal is to meet the families where they are and help them explore how faith can be a source of strength and comfort.

Within the walls of St. Jude, there is grief counseling with a spiritual emphasis, chances for worship, sacraments and pastoral visits. In addition, the hospital’s two chapels are open to people of ALL religious beliefs. The history of St. Jude’s unconditional acceptance of all humanity is a perfect expression of what faith truly is. A vision that started with a prayer is still going strong day after day.

We decorated cookies – Courtesy St. Jude’s

Today the survival rate for acute lymphoblastic leukemia — the most common form of childhood cancer — is at 94 percent thanks to the research of St. Jude. As a mother, I found this information to be deeply moving. But what also jumped out and grabbed my heart on this Valentine’s Day was the conscientiousness and thought that St. Jude puts into the holistic experience for patients and their families whilst being treated in the facility.

A medical social worker at St. Jude has a master’s degree in Social Work, and has specific expertise in helping families cope with the emotional impact of living with illness; and also provides education both in the community and in the hospital about the impact of illness on patients and their families. Shortly after a family arrives at St. Jude, a social worker will meet them and help get them settled. The social work staff is there to support patients and their families through counseling, including how to talk with a patient about their illness, or how to help siblings cope with the illness.

With hugeness of heart and the education to back it up, the social workers help these families to deal with the impact of illness on everyday life — from work to school, finances and family/marriage. Now, this is a big one — the social workers are there to help the families find both financial resources and community services to support not only just the children, but also the parents as they give up months, even years, crusading to save their child’s life. Moreover, social workers are there for the families EVERY single day.

Obviously ladies, my time at St. Jude opened my heart and will not soon be forgotten. Their tireless efforts in trying to keep life as normal as possible are outstanding, and the hospital as a whole provides a feeling of family that is totally real.

Further, the St. Jude School Program Presented by Target for children undergoing treatment can offer a familiar and reassuring routine, as well as a feeling of being in step with the outside world. School gives children a chance to keep a sense of identity and hope for the future, which is vital to their progression as an individual. Whether it’s the schooling, the housing, the teen programs or the nutritional aspects — there is not a stone unturned when it comes to the well-being of St. Jude patients and families. They even have fun and therapeutic activities for the parents to help keep them sane and healthy during such trying times!

During my visit, I learned that it’s not just the medicine, it’s not just the science or the fact that treatment is free — it is a place and a community that fully encompasses the golden rule of how we should treat one another. And as a mother, knowing that there is a place like St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital allows me to sleep soundly at night. It is most definitely a prayer that has been answered, and has continued with a spirit full of so much love and life that touches so many people on a daily basis.

So as this Valentine’s Day has come and gone, I now truly understand the heart of St. Jude, as it has the deepest regard for humanity.

Yum! – Courtesy St. Jude’s

Until next time…

– Elisabeth Röhm

More from Elisabeth’s PEOPLE.com blog series:

• Elisabeth Röhm’s Blog: Deciding When to Share and When to Shield
• Elisabeth Röhm’s Blog: Why I Support St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital

Boston Common – Courtesy Elisabeth Röhm

Elisabeth Röhm, best known for her roles as Serena on Law & Order and Kate on Angel, has been blogging for PEOPLE.com for over two years now.

The actress, 40, currently stars as Taylor on The Client List, and recently wrapped filming on American Hustle, David O. Russell’s latest movie.

Her book, Baby Steps: Having the Child I Always Wanted (Just Not As I Expected), was released in April.

She can be found on Facebook, Google + and on Twitter @ElisabethRohm.

In her latest blog, Röhm — mom to 5-year-old Easton August with fiancé Ron Anthony — recounts her experience in Boston during the bombings, and its effect on her and her daughter.

The day the horrible bombings took place, my daughter was flying to Boston — where I have been shooting David O. Russell‘s latest movie for the last month — to join me. I’d been there for weeks alone, getting established and aching for Easton’s sweet butterscotch kisses and energetic hugs.

I’d been anticipating her arrival by getting tickets for the Big Apple Circus, planning out days filled with museum visits and aquarium adventures and stocking the hotel we’d be hunkering down in with goodies, games and fun projects to entertain and pass the hours.

I was psyched! She was psyched! We’d been missing each other and even though she was thriving in her routine at home with school, play-dates and some serious Daddy-bonding, we are two girls who are attached at the hip. The time had come to reunite and it was going to be divine.

I’d spent endless hours on Skype with Easton, telling her all about beautiful Boston and how fun it was going to be for her when she got here. There wasn’t a moment of our days that had not been organized with activities that would allow us to explore and celebrate being in a new environment together.

Globetrotting is one of the many perks of being an actor. Although it creates some obstacles in the “normalcy” (whatever that is) of home, we see it as a blessing in my family. Easton has been all over the world since she was an infant, and it’s pretty apparent that she embraces the adventure of new places, things and people.

She melts my heart when she says, “Let’s go on an adventure, Mama” — words I know I’ve taught her. Openness to uncertainty and a curiosity for the unknown is a part of her nature. Perhaps it’s something I’ve encouraged, but now we share it together, this quest and thirst for newness, renewal and a comfort in discovery.

So excited for the show – Courtesy Elisabeth Röhm

The Boston Marathon was happening on April 15, the day that Easton arrived. The energy was palpable. The celebration was strung through the air like holiday lights, twinkling with anticipation. The weekend hustle and bustle of my hotel had been thrilling as people brimmed with eagerness to get their run on.

They’d traveled from all over the world to participate and their families had come to cheer them on. The hotel was stocked with kids of all ages and I was grateful to know that Easton would be able to make pals with kids from all corners of the earth when she got to Boston. Little people like little people! Perhaps she’d make a new friend that she’d never forget in the pool.

I have to say, not being a marathon runner myself — as of yet, anyway — they are a happy lot! Freedom-seekers who delight in these runs and their colorful gear seems to underscore their vibrant love of life, the body and community. Many of them travel from city to city to participate and the marathon is their social scene. The hotel was full of spontaneous celebration! It was a party all weekend and I was pleased that Easton would be arriving on a day filled with so much joy.

I planned to attend the marathon since I was there in the hub of it all. Just minutes away from the finish line, it seemed like the thing to do! I was busy running around finishing up my mommy errands, turning our simple hotel life into our temporary home for a few weeks. I was grocery shopping and getting pink (everything of Easton’s is PINK, PINK, PINK) flowers, arranging all the wonderful games that would light her fire. As I wound down my to-do list, I had about an hour to spare before I was to head to the airport and get my darling daughter. Woo-hoo.

As I unloaded my packages, I was tossing around a big dilemma … I thought, “Finish line or nap, nap or finish line?” It was a toss-up as I had been swept up by the infectious joy I’d witnessed all weekend. People bopping around in their florescent sneakers, uproariously laughing, back-slaps of encouragement — well-wishers from all over had gotten me in the mood. I wanted to be there whistling and cheering! But I was a little tired. It was a long week of shooting, plus my five-year-old was arriving and that would certainly keep me on my toes! Right?!

I lay in the bed, closed my eyes and rested. Somehow that hour passed real quick! Soon it was time to drive to the airport. I knew nothing as I joyously walked through the hotel to the front door. The moment I stepped outside and smiled at the valet, four girls piled out of their taxi openly sobbing.

Swan boats – Courtesy Elisabeth Röhm

I thought one of them might have gotten hurt so I naïvely asked, “Are you okay? Did you get hurt running?” They just looked at me, eyes filled with terror, and said, “There were bombings at the finish line.” They moved into the hotel shocked, broken and in fear. Like little girls, they huddled together trying to comfort each other.

I looked around to see if anyone else seemed to know about these bombings. One by one, people kept being dropped off from cars in tears. My car suddenly pulled up in front of me. It was time to go get Easton. I thought, “Oh my God — there has been a terrorist attack and my daughter is about to land in less than an hour.” I jumped in, turned on the news and hauled ass to the airport.

The calls poured in from all my family and friends warning me to stay in my hotel and not to leave. I simply said, “I’m driving to the airport to get Easton. Once we are back in the hotel safely, I’ll call you.” What was going on?!

The airport was in serious chaos when I arrived. Runners walking shell-shocked through the hotel on phone calls with loved ones, security and police gearing up for what would be a heinous week here in Boston. Everyone was talking to strangers and sharing in the fear, grief and confusion of the moment. It reminded me of 9/11.

Then the doors opened and Easton came bounding into my arms. We must have hugged for 30 minutes, squealing with delight and showering each other with kisses. It had been a long couple of weeks away from each other. I held onto her for dear life, not knowing what I had brought her into by having her come to Boston.

Our adventurous plans were squashed as I gathered her suitcases and raced all of us to the car in hopes that the quicker we made it back to the hotel, the safer we’d be. I didn’t know if roads would be closed or what the reaction to the bombings would be. I didn’t know anything. Nobody did at the time. It was a city under attack, with chaos and pain. I had to get us into our hotel room and get a handle on what was going on around us just blocks away from our hotel.

Boston Common Frog Pond – Courtesy Elisabeth Röhm

I tried to speak in vague terms with Tammy, my dear friend and Easton’s nanny, about what had happened at the marathon. It was awkward, as I didn’t want Easton’s happiness to be with me in Boston to be ruined or affected by the horrific events of the day. I also didn’t want her to be afraid.

Once we got to our room, I didn’t run to the TV and turn on the news, even though I was concerned and wanted to know every detail that was available, just like the whole world. Instead, I read the news on my iPhone as a way to protect Easton.

People kept calling and I’d have to say things like, “Yes, we’re okay. Yes, Easton and Tammy are here. We’re not leaving the hotel. It’s okay. We’re okay.” But the truth was, we weren’t okay because there were people in Boston that night that were suffering. People were injured and people had died. Everyone was living in fear with broken hearts over the tragedy.

Worse, the officials had absolutely no idea where the criminal who had orchestrated these cruel acts of violence was. There I was with my five-year-old, thinking, “What do I say to her? Do I explain this to her?” I was just thankful that it was late afternoon when they got in. That way, it didn’t seem odd that we went to our room and stayed there for the rest of the day.

I chose to say nothing.

As the days went on, it was hard to continue pretending that all was okay. You couldn’t find a corner where the incident wasn’t being talked about. People were gawking at the TVs and there were police everywhere. On Tuesday, we went to a museum that happened to be right next door, but that was about it for our day’s activities.

Unsettling scene – Courtesy Elisabeth Röhm

Soon after, the city went into actual lockdown. What do you say to your child who wants to go out and play in the sunshine? How do you tell them that leaving the hotel is not an option AT ALL? I told Easton a little bit more — “We can’t leave the hotel today, sweetie. The police want us to stay inside to be safe.” She never asked any questions. I guess I was lucky.

Obviously everything, including production on the film, was shut down. We went to the pool where she made those friends I’d thought of before she’d arrived. We spent the day inside as the manhunt escalated.

It was surreal to watch the children laughing and splashing in the pool while the adults would make eye contact, not uttering a word but shaking their heads in dismay, hurt and confused about what was happening all around us.

Lockdown in our hotel. That was what it was like. I had escaped having to explain anything really — bombings, terrorists, death, anti-American acts of violence. We didn’t have to talk about it because she is 5. Her world is Mommy. When Mommy is fine and normal, then Easton is fine and normal.

And so I was. I acted as if all was okay when it certainly was not. She didn’t need to know about such things. It shouldn’t be a part of a five-year-old’s world.

The next day, there was no safer place to be than in Boston. The world was watching. They’d captured the perp. We finally bounced to the park to relish our new freedom (something we’d taken for granted) and the carousel of Boston Common. I tried to be in a joyous mood like her as we absorbed the day.

Commons Carousel – Courtesy Elisabeth Röhm

There they were: police, military, special ops, FBI and of course, the Red Cross. Trucks spread all throughout the park. It was hard not to have to explain a little bit more as Easton innocently asked, “Mommy, why do they have guns?” “To keep us safe,” I replied, matter-of-factly.

As we walked hand-in-hand under the sunshine with the season springing all around us, it was impossible not to think of those families. Their lives had been torn apart by the bombings, and they were doing anything but strolling through the park on a pretty day.

My heart was and still is with them.

– Elisabeth Röhm

More from Elisabeth’s PEOPLE.com blog series:

• Elisabeth Röhm’s Blog: My Visit to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital
• Elisabeth Röhm’s Blog: Deciding When to Share and When to Shield

Elisabeth Röhm, best known for her roles as Serena on Law & Order and Kate on Angel, has been blogging for PEOPLE.com for over two years now.

The actress, 40, currently plays Taylor on The Client List, and will next star in David O. Russell’s latest film, American Hustle, to be released Christmas Day.

Her book, Baby Steps: Having the Child I Always Wanted (Just Not As I Expected), was released in April.

She can be found on Facebook, Google + and on Twitter @ElisabethRohm.

In her latest blog, Röhm — mom to 5-year-old Easton August with fiancé Ron Anthony — works her way through her daughter’s zing phase.

EASTON LINING UP FOR A SIGNED COPY OF MY BOOK – Courtesy Elisabeth Rohm

Zing! Those four magic letters. Did you ever see Hotel Transylvania? The film explores the zing subject quite wonderfully. (It’s a great movie by the way! We’ve seen it at least 30 times. We’re loyal like that in my family.)

Same thing goes for what we fondly refer to now as “grownup movies” since everything in our lives now is skewed through the eyes of a little tyke. It used to be we just called movies, movies. Now things these days are seen through a PG point of view.

Since I spend most of my time with a five-year-old, I’m up on all the cool kid stuff, movies included. I’m fully in the loop as they say.

And yet, perhaps I missed the chapter in What to Expect on when your child starts zinging.

I don’t know if it’s the whole princess movie thing, but marriage and whom Easton will be marrying is a big subject in our house these days. She colors in her coloring book humming along to the age ole’ classic, “Here comes the bride, all dressed in white.” I think it goes something like that as I have not been personally exposed to its melody seeing as Ron and I are indeed unmarried and living in sin.

So, there is my sweet Easton talking about marrying her fellow schoolmate Zach and singing THE song. And suddenly my memory comes flashing back of meeting Brian Moonan on the playground at 5 years old.

He made my heart swoon, I think, as he’d blow the dirty trodden sand off of a plastic hair barrette and casually give it to me as his blond hair would glisten in the sunlight. From there it grew to us calling each other quite frequently on the phone to say not a whole heck of a lot.

Then there was Grant Sharpe, who I first saw at Sunday school. We were also in the choir together. His auburn hair shimmered too in the proverbial sunlight as he tossed his locks out of his eyes. Zing!

Zinging at camp – Courtesy Elisabeth Rohm

That whole zinging thing is happening with these little five-year-olds. They are also crushing on the grownups and there are a lot of “I love yous” flying around. So we’re having to talk about all of that too.

“I love you is special and saved for your family and best friends.” Not just the latest zing in the playground. And certainly not for Mommy’s friend who runs the best Italian restaurant in Boston. I mean, seriously.

But then I recall when I met Alex at Baskin-Robbins oh so many years ago and I’d order my bubble gum ice cream with moonbeams in my eyes as if I was talking to Elvis or Justin Bieber or, in my case these days, it would be Robin Thicke.

Towering over me, he’d step out from behind the glass ice cream freezers and personally hand me my cup of frozen pink ice cream with chunks of gum or my other favorite, rainbow sherbet, and flash his pearly whites as he’d bend down and say, “I’m gonna put a brick on my head and wait for you to grow up, Lis.”

And so I was hooked and had to go to Baskin-Robbins every day — or at least as much as my mom would allow — just so I could bask in his glow for five minutes.

And so this was exactly what happened in Boston when we were in town filming for a month. One night we went to a local place in the North End where Easton met a ZING! From that moment forth we had to eat there most every night.

For the rest of her life she will remember Carmelina’s as if it was glowing with pink neon lights in the shape of a heart. The owner of this awesome eatery in Little Italy, aptly named Damien, had her at hello. “Whatever you want,” he crooned in a Boston/Italian accent.

That was it. He suddenly became beloved, like her grandparents who never enforce anything. First it was the balloon art. Not only did he get her one carefully wound flower with pink petals and a bright green stem, but each time she asked for another one, he happily crossed the street to answer each request.

CLIMBING TREES – Courtesy Elisabeth Rohm

We all wish our guys would hop to like this fine gentleman did. By the time we left dinner she had a whooping amount of balloon art, one more complicated than the other, climaxing in a towering hat of balloons made just for Easton and directed by Damien. Oh, and then he actually wore the hat around his restaurant, proudly claiming how much he loved his daughter and missed these younger years where they actually want to talk to you and sit on your lap and kiss and hug.

Then came the gelato, reminding me of those carefree days at Baskin-Robbins. Not only did he give her two flavors, but he went out of his own restaurant during the dinner shift to his all-time favorite gelato shop in the North End to please her taste buds.

What a guy. Again I say, if only our guys could get the memo from Damien. Perhaps he should teach a weekend training course on doting and how to “get the girl.”

“When I grow up I’m going to marry Daddy,” Easton said yesterday. “When you grow up, Daddy will still be your Daddy,” I corrected. “Really?” “Really.”

“I’ll always be your baby?” she asked sweetly. “You’ll always be my baby, even when you’re all grown up and have your own family.”

This is where we are at these days. Love and marriage. I’m waiting for the next question to be, “When are you and Daddy getting married?” I’m getting prepared.

All of this growing up stuff makes me think about how conflicted we are with our age. When we are little we want to grow up fast and as we get older we wish we were younger. All these major life lessons and subjects get all the more complicated as our little ones embrace, battle and explore growing up.

And all that zinging stuff is even more complicated. We know that all too well, right ladies? If only we could all personally call the brilliant matchmaker Patti Stanger to help us find a nice fellow who can afford to buy us that ice cream cone and then some. (Or perhaps just check out Pattiknows.com. I find her site to be full of great advice.)

The other day Easton said she did want to marry Zach, but that he wanted to marry Alessandra. She said, “I need to find someone who wants to marry me too, but there isn’t anyone and Tristan bothers me. We argue.” My heart aches thinking about all of this and Easton’s ultimate quest for love.

BALLOON HATS WITH DAMIEN – Courtesy Elisabeth Rohm

We all want to feel loved and these early zings bring up all kinds of memories and questions. Again, maybe we should all call Patti.

Tell me — what or who is making you zing? What or who are you loving this summer?

And remember what Mommy said, “Choose someone who — like Damien — dotes on you and brings you gelato when you get hot this summer.”

Until next time …

– Elisabeth Röhm

More from Elisabeth’s PEOPLE.com blog series:

• Elisabeth Rohm’s Blog: Locked Down in Boston with Easton
• Elisabeth Rohm’s Blog: My Visit to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital

Courtesy Elisabeth Rohm

Elisabeth Röhm, best known for her roles as Serena on Law & Order and Kate on Angel, has been blogging for PEOPLE.com for over two years now.

The actress, 40, currently plays Taylor on The Client List, and will next star as Dolly in David O. Russell’s latest film, American Hustle, to be released Christmas Day.

Her book, Baby Steps: Having the Child I Always Wanted (Just Not As I Expected), was released in April.

She can be found on Facebook, Google + and on Twitter @ElisabethRohm.

In her latest blog, Röhm — mom to 5-year-old Easton August with fiancé Ron Anthony — writes about recognizing when another mom is having a tough time — and helping her out.

You know the look you had on your face this morning as you woke up? That beautiful, focused and yet somewhat frazzled look that suggests you’d be lucky if you could get a comb through your hair as you manage your way through the routine before school time?

You make breakfast, straighten the bed, throw the dishes in the sink (you’ll do them later), get all the troops washed, brushed, flossed, dressed and out the door to your car to begin your commute to the daily drop-off, where you will then try to get to work yourself. (Lucky if you’re on time, ’cause traffic can be a you-know-what). Just a day in the life of parenthood, especially if you’re doing it solo, or as in our case, Daddy’s already gone to work by the time this ritual takes place.

It’s a look I feel creep over my face as I try to gracefully juggle all that’s expected of me. A look that I see on my friend’s faces as they sigh with the relief of having a fellow mom they can show the cracks in their veneer to.

I see it as I watch women in high heels and suits make their way through the grocery store with their little ones climbing all over their shopping carts like monkeys after a long day at work … after which you’ll still need to make dinner, clean the kitchen for the new day ahead, run the bath, throw a load in for clean clothes come morning, and then bed with books, giggles and talks about the day. Not to mention you may even still have work to do after they hit the sack.

You know the look, right? You might even have it spreading across your face right now as you try to manage it all, ladies.

It’s a look that I recognize, and this morning after drop-off I saw it on the face of a young mom who was waiting for the bus with her toddler. I’m not one to try to save the world. It was just a look that touched my heart while I too talked on a conference call and thought about all I had to get done before 3 p.m. It was hard to miss her neck craning to see if she could catch a glimpse of the bus that was going to take her someplace that seemed urgent and important on a weekday morning.

I could relate as I had a pile of calls to return, scripts to read, projects that needed my attention and a house to clean all before I’d make the trek back to Easton’s school for pick-up. Mind you, pick-up is a time of day that I anticipate with joy; however it’s a race for all moms to cram into those few fateful hours all that needs to be done professionally or personally so that we are the best and most sane moms possible.

Now let me start by saying I’m from N.Y.C. I’m street-smart. I grew up knowing not to talk to strangers and mind you, strangers are a part of your daily, hourly, minute-to-minute experience in city life. I know how to watch my back. Not to mention being a city kid makes you savvy. Generally speaking, I’ve got good instincts That’s all to say that I don’t make a habit of picking up strangers off the street and carting them to God knows where, and I certainly don’t propagate being unsafe, especially when you’re someone’s mama.

But as my car slowed down in front of the bus stop due to a firetruck passing, I couldn’t help but notice the look on this mom’s face. It was the look I’d had on mine all morning as I’d tried to do, over-do and be all things to all people, especially my sweet Easton. The child was clean and cared for and seated on the bench while the mom was surveying the landscape. Like her, I was in work/race mode to get everything done that was on my to-do list before school would let out and we’d be on our way to swimming, where all work would come to screeching halt.

I couldn’t help but notice myself in her and all of my friends. In my neighbor this morning who was daring to get some exercise in before she would head to the office, only to return home at 5 p.m. to a whirlwind house where being a mom who does it all is only celebrated once a year and noticed if you have a meltdown from stress and exhaustion. “Mommy needs a break.” Come on, you know it’s true. Look, I’m no Mother Teresa and can count on one hand the times I’ve picked up a stranger to help. But I stopped.

“Hi. You guys okay? Where are you going?” I asked. If had been far I’d probably have said no, but her destination was 20 minutes and just so happened to be a local college. So now add to that mix of work, home, kids, survival — the additional pursuit of education and the chaos of public transportation. OY! I think you ladies know where the story goes from here.

I casually said, “If you feel comfortable, I can drop you off. It’s easier than the bus. I’m a mom. I get it.” Jasmine put her 3-year-old son in the back of my car with the booster seat she was carrying, along with both of their school bags and piled in. I’m guessing they felt safer because my backseat was littered with toys.

Her son quickly befriended Easton’s Minnie Mouse as she told me how she had just gotten back from serving in active duty and was in her second semester of college. Jasmine’s goal is to be a surgeon. I’m so grateful for my education that I couldn’t help but be moved by her story of serving this nation, giving birth in Germany and then taking her military pay and putting it towards school so that she and her boy could have a good life and all the necessities.

Like I said, I don’t recommend this to you. The world can be a crazy place. We all know that. But in that moment, I trusted my instincts as a fellow mom and found I’d made one mother’s life a little bit easier. With a test that day, she got to school an hour earlier than planned. I could relate to the quest for a better life and to fulfill her potential not just for herself, but also for her child. I think we all feel that way. We talked about the importance of education and reinvention.

Anyway, as I was driving with Jasmine, I thought about how important it is that we come together more as a community of women and serve and support each other. That we take the time to notice each other and read the looks and feelings that are all too familiar for us parents who are trying to juggle all that we do. That we lend a hand to each other and continue to build a community amongst our friends, schools, neighbors and yes, even strangers.

It never hurts to recognize another parent and give them a knowing smile or a word of encouragement. Isn’t it really that simple? Don’t we all just need a little compassion and support — to be heard?

As I was blocks away from Jasmine’s college, we too were talking about the courage and energy it takes to continue investing in ourselves, the commitment to our kids that comes so easily being an invaluable lesson about self-love.

I may have given her a ride, which to an outsider could seem crazy. In the end, we both gave each other a little relief in sharing our mom dialogue and all it takes to get through a weekday morning. Women and community — two words that we created and sustain every day of our lives.

Until next time, Mom/Mama/Mommy. You rock.

– Elisabeth Röhm

P.S. As you probably all know, the American Red Cross is very close to my heart. I’ve been working with them for 10 years and am always looking for ways to help support their mission. If you feel like I do, Therafit is a great company that is donating funds to them. You can buy their amazing RED shoe called “The Deborah” and they will donate $20 from each sale to the American Red Cross. What could be better than shopping for a cause?!

More from Elisabeth’s PEOPLE.com blog series:

• Elisabeth Rohm’s Blog: Are Your Kids Zinging Yet?
• Elisabeth Rohm’s Blog: Locked Down in Boston with Easton
• Elisabeth Rohm’s Blog: My Visit to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital

Fall kisses – Courtesy Elisabeth Röhm

Elisabeth Röhm, best known for her roles as Serena on Law & Order and Kate on Angel, has been blogging for PEOPLE.com for over two years now.

The actress, 40, most recently played Taylor on The Client List, and will next star as Dolly in David O. Russell’s latest film, American Hustle, to be released Christmas Day.

Her book, Baby Steps: Having the Child I Always Wanted (Just Not As I Expected), was released in April.

She can be found on Facebook, Google + and on Twitter @ElisabethRohm.

In her latest blog, Röhm — mom to 5½-year-old Easton August with fiancé Ron Anthony — recalls her late mother’s love of learning and shares how she’s saving for her daughter’s future.

My mother died at the age of 60. Easton was just two years old. Of course, I feel my mother’s presence, encouragement and inspiration hourly.

But what of Easton, who knows my mother only through my storytelling and references to heaven? She’s almost a story herself, a thing of legend. And yet, when I hear Easton talk about my mom, I know I’m doing a great job of keeping her memory alive.

Easton is truly missing out in not knowing my mother Lisa in the flesh, but I talk about her all the time. Now that Easton is older, she asks all the time about my own childhood, about Mom and me. Not to mention, everything she was is in me and her memory breathes through me. If you’ve lost a parent you feel me, right ladies?

Sometimes when I caress Easton’s hair, I see my mother’s hands in my own. When I hug my daughter, I feel my mom’s arms around me for all the 37 years we shared together. When Easton and I talk from the heart and really get down to the nuts and bolts of things, I recall my mother’s incredible gift of communication.

Most importantly — this one affects us moment to moment — when I’m down and frustrated or joyful and inspired, I always have my love of life, information and knowledge as a touchstone. My mom was and will always be the smartest person I ever knew. She never gave up her interest in learning and participating.

I was lucky enough to be the benefactor of that cultivation. It is something I value and that I’m trying to pass on to Easton like a bright exciting torch. Saving for college is a top priority for my family and for Easton’s future and to encourage more people to prepare financially for college like we did, I’m working with Upromise by Sallie Mae.

It’s important to create a plan and savings goals and you can supplement your savings using a program like Upromise, from which you can earn money back for your college savings when you need to spend.

Easton’s other grandmother is my stepmother Jessica, who is also a person that you will never catch without a book nearby or in hand (she’s also saving for Easton’s college experience).

So, the good news is that both of Easton’s grandmothers are insatiable students and share in their different ways a thirst for life and endless quest in their curiosity. I think of the value of knowledge and the excitement my mother and stepmother stimulated through their love of books and words with gratitude.

My mama (that’s what Easton calls me still) delighted in poetry and literature, history, theology and science. My mother was someone who craved information. I’ll never forget how we pored over our Encyclopedia Britannica. Do you have those? Note to self: get them for Easton!

We would pick one of the many volumes and open to a random page where we could dive in and learn about absolutely everything. I’m sure all of that reading and love of discovery awakened my creativity as a writer and actor. Ultimately leading the desire to not only break through all my academic barriers of ADD and cyclones of distraction, but also the complicated feelings that consumed my heart regarding my parents’ divorce. Needless to say, those issues made learning very difficult for me at times in school.

Because of my mom, I persevered and made it to college. And because of Mom I graduated from Sarah Lawrence College (the finest source of education for someone like me). Every step held its challenges — I’m sure you will agree if you are in college, hope to go, or are paying off loans and the memory still lingers.

For me, the memory of college lingers too. Not only was it the most incredible gift my mother inspired me to value and that my father paid for, but also a gift of a lifetime as I’ve maneuvered through my pursuits both professionally and personally. That’s why I support Upromise as it can help families across America achieve their dreams of going to college.

Singlehandedly, I credit graduating as my ticket for making it as an artist. I’d stand before a director in an audition with my nerves jangling about and think, “Shoot, I graduated from college — that’s a lot harder than this audition!”

Confidence. Those years buy you a truck load of that!

Facepaint – Courtesy Elisabeth Röhm

Mom was a gifted student, but when she met my dad she became a college dropout. Still, she remained a student and taught me everything she knew or we learned together. Like I said, there are books she read to me as a child that birthed my love of storytelling, character, and moral dilemma (which is ultimately what movies and TV are all about). She did a great job with that.

She was always reading. Coming into to her bedroom at any given time, there would be a pile of books on her nightstand or her nose would be buried in a good one and all I could see was her furrowed brow above the edges. Always worried when she’d have a furrowed brow (right?!), she’d scoop me up to ease my mind and tell me all about what she was reading. I try to remember to do the same with Easton. I try to share my delight in learning like Mom did.

My mom did the brave thing of going back to school when I was 8, got financial aid and made her dream of college happen although the debts for her were challenging as a single parent. Her struggles have taught me a lot, so I’m saving for Easton’s education wherever she chooses to go with Upromise. Now that I’m a mom I can only imagine the sheer courage it took to get it all done every day. To go out on that limb.

And SLC never let me give up on myself either. From the Donning system, to the conferences and the incredible financial aid, quitting was not an option. I believe that everything I’ve accomplished stems from the confidence that my college, my mother’s college and — hopefully if Easton lets me control all her choices (which we know will never happen) — could be Easton’s college of choice too.

We talked about it the other day and she shut me down. Thankfully, I have 10 more years to plead my case. I will always be indebted to Sarah Lawrence for giving me a place to grow my mind, heart and soul. It’s a place I return to again and again.

I know between Jessica and I we will make up for my mom not being here to awaken Easton’s thirst. Thankfully, she seems to have that curiosity. Well, I think we all do.

Although, on this almost anniversary of my mom passing, I’m sad too that Easton will never hear the soft lilt of my mother’s beautiful southern accent as she would read from a classic or perhaps the encyclopedia as she did with me so long ago.

My stepmother’s motto is, “Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it, boldness has genius, power and magic in it.” — Goethe (a writer I discovered at college).

So, let’s all take a step forward towards making that dream of learning easier for ourselves and our loved ones, possible and something we can’t live without … something we never stop.

Until next time,

– Elisabeth Röhm

More from Elisabeth’s PEOPLE.com blog series:

• Elisabeth Röhm’s Blog: When a Stranger Needs You
• Elisabeth Röhm’s Blog: Are Your Kids Zinging Yet?
• Elisabeth Röhm’s Blog: Locked Down in Boston with Easton

Elisabeth Rohm was a paid spokesperson for UPromise from June to October.

Elisabeth Rohm: ‘Jeremy Renner Is the Hottest Guy I’ve Ever Worked With’

With my girl – Courtesy Elisabeth Röhm

Elisabeth Röhm has been blogging for PEOPLE.com for three years now.

The SAG Award-winning actress, 40, most recently played Dolly in David O. Russell’s latest film, American Hustle, which is up for 10 Academy Awards at the Oscars, airing March 2.

Röhm is currently guest-starring on Beauty and the Beast.

Her book, Baby Steps: Having the Child I Always Wanted (Just Not As I Expected), was released last April.

She can be found on Facebook, Google + and on Twitter @ElisabethRohm.

In her latest blog, Röhm — mom to 5½-year-old Easton August with fiancé Ron Anthony — takes a step back and realizes it’s time to start taking care of herself again.

You ever feel like your socks have holes where the heels used to be from running around so much? Or that even though you sprayed perfume on this morning before hitting the road for school drop-off that you smell kind of musty? And that despite your attempt at keeping up appearances, that you just don’t have the time to stay on top of your expressive style?

I know, I hear you saying, “Yeah right, whatever actress-mom! You get to wear Marchesa and the like.” But seriously, I was laughing last month at the SAG Awards when an actress was referring to her oh-so-lovely rent-a-princess getup, saying that Cinderella needed to return her princess appearance by noon the next day. “Me too!” I replied. And we laughed at the fantasy.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s a blast getting to play dress up from time to time for work. It is definitely one of the perks, as I do love fashion and beauty. Who doesn’t? We all want to be pureeety!

SAGs red carpet from my point of view - John Shearer/Invision for PEOPLE Magazine/AP

But what of real life? I’ve just never related to the seriously put-together mama teetering on heels in the playground. How do they do it? I think most moms will relate to the absence of direction in their wardrobe and overall look they’ve got going on.

I wrote a blog after Easton was born promising myself that I’d stop wearing long shirts that cover my butt and huge wrap sweaters that resemble blankets with ballet slippers. Hey, I’m going for comfort not sex appeal. Seriously though, it’s really a look that had to go.

I did good for a while, but lately as I’ve been running around like a mad woman getting back into the swing of things with work, I’ve noticed that I’m letting myself go a bit again. Is anyone available for a mommy makeover? I’m ready.

In the swing of things – Courtesy Elisabeth Röhm

Dye this hair, whack it off and give me some pretty new shoes. I need Tom Ford to get a hold of me, shake it up and help me go from 2001 to 2014. It’s hard to keep up, right ladies?

And despite our circumstances, we never want to say no to our kids!

Ron cast a look at me the other day as Easton and I came home with shopping bags from the GAP Kids like, “Really? Does she really need anything new?” The answer is yes! Forget you and me, Ron. We’re here to serve and protect! We’ll just wear our holey socks and college sweaters. I’m cool with that. Aren’t you?!!

On the other hand, it’s true I might need a few new things to update the ever-ticking clock. Not to mention he could use new eyeglasses. Maybe ones that aren’t crooked. Mind you, they used to look cool.

Golden Globes glam – Imeh Akpanudosen/Getty

The guys can relate too, although, it’s definitely the moms overspending on the kids! Hey look, it happens when you are tending to someone else more than to your own self-pride.

However, yes Ron, why do we walk around like eccentric people in ill-fitting clothing while our kid is sporting the latest everything?! What are we trying to prove? It’s just like a scene from Wisteria Lane. And darn it, I might need a wrecking crew to step in and help me start from scratch.

Send in the mommy rescue team to all my moms out there who need a little makeover, PEOPLE.com. It’s time for a revolution!

Honestly though, it has been a busy time as a mom. I’m getting my sea legs under me, what with juggling Easton’s needs and going back to work with more fervor than I have had since she was born. She and I are hanging in there.

Onstage with the American Hustle cast – we won Best Picture! – Kevork Djansezian/Getty

I remember before my mom passed away, she said to me, “Don’t quit acting. I know you want to be with your baby all the time, but they grow up so fast and then you’ll have to start all over again.” I feel like there was truth in that statement. I’m glad I always kept a toe in the biz.

Now that I’m immersing myself in work again like the days of old, we are as a family discovering what it’s like for Mom to be working more. Like Easton’s friends’ moms, I actually have a schedule these days. It’s been a bit bumpy, but overall Easton gets it; She is having a blast doing her own thing too, as long as I’m there most of the time. It’s doable!

I’m coming out of my muumuu now that Easton’s days are getting busier. She’s got a schedule of her own: what with school, activities and play dates. Suddenly I’m noticing myself again. It’s like, “Oh hi, you’re still here?!”

Little equestrian – Courtesy Elisabeth Röhm

Mom was right — you find that you are reacquainting yourself with yourself as your kids grow up. Now that Easton is finding her own identity, it is time for me to redefine my own. With this reinvention comes the recognition that although you love meeting everyone’s needs, that you might still have a few of your own.

Not to mention, you can’t go to a meeting in the rent-the-princess-runway look or your mommy get-up, so it might be time to put the credit card down when you want to buy your darlings their third pair of sneakers and find that it’s okay to invest in yourself too.

Well, I guess you could say Easton and I are on a path of discovery. And so time and again as we come back to ourselves; gently or not so gently we are reminded that we have a personality, dreams, needs and even a desire to be attractive and feel fresh again.

What a night – Emily Shur for PEOPLE

I can only brace myself for the next time this happens. Like when she’s actually REALLY too busy for me and I’m knocking at her door asking her to come out and talk. But, we’ll keep those wolves at bay for a while. Baby No. 2?

So, I say get out of those old shoes and sweatpants and give yourself some dancing space to be YOU.

Until next time,

– Elisabeth Röhm

More from Elisabeth’s PEOPLE.com blog series:

• Elisabeth Röhm’s Blog: Where a Love of Learning Can Lead
• Elisabeth Röhm’s Blog: When a Stranger Needs You
• Elisabeth Röhm’s Blog: Are Your Kids Zinging Yet?

Elisabeth Röhm has been blogging for PEOPLE.com for three years now.

The SAG Award-winning actress, 41,  starred as Dolly in David O. Russell’s latest film, American Hustle.

Röhm will next star opposite Julia Stiles on TNT’s Guilt By Association and is currently filming Blood Father opposite Mel Gibson.

Her book, Baby Steps: Having the Child I Always Wanted (Just Not As I Expected), is available now.

She can be found on Facebook, Google + and on Twitter @ElisabethRohm.

In her latest blog, Röhm — mom to 6-year-old Easton August with fiancé Ron Anthony — shares her thoughts on the ever-evolving mother-daughter relationship.

Courtesy Elisabeth Rohm

Happy Mother’s Day MONTH!

Now that Mom has passed with Lolly following and just recently Aunt Evy also returning to that other place, admittedly most of my days are a measuring of how they would guide me as I land in these new territories of motherhood, which happen most frequently.

Oh, Ya-Ya Sisterhood how I miss your humor and straight up unapologetic methods of being women towards each other and towards us. I think of you so much on Mother’s Day Month (just to make it clear)!

Courtesy Elisabeth Rohm

You are the bookmark and history of my happenings. And now as a modern mother and the next generation with my own reference catalogue for my beautiful Easton, I still count on your cultivation of my independent nature, my survival skills, my crash course of reinvention more than ever that I learned only from you. I inhale you even in your being gone. That’s how strong your love has always been!

Our time is not like the days of old when these amazing mothers were willing to endure the mercurial personalities of our fathers in order to create motherland. Or when they tempered and staved off their real desires, opinions and visions of the future by adjusting to the only world they knew, one where mother’s raised their children, their family with no complaint … but with joy, and sugar and daises, and red sauce.

Well, now that I put it that way, I guess it’s still kinda the same. These women who held it all together and feathered our beds beautifully while the husbands and fathers were rather absent. These were our non-working moms of the 70’s.

The tradition of my entire history is wrought with mother’s and daughters. Mom and me. Lolly and Jaime. Jessica and Olivia. I’m from a long line of amazing women and their daughters. Now Easton and me add our name to the catalogue. Again like with Mom in her era with me, all of my daughter’s needs are happily answered.

Courtesy Elisabeth Rohm

And yet, try as we might to protect some revision of boundaries where the relationship does not become co-dependent like the days of old, the mother-child relationship is so open that it becomes the bearer of the weight of all the needs, hopes and desires as well as the sponge to those of the mother.

And so goes the existence of the mother-daughter relationship, where they bear the weight of the mother’s world. It’s complicated.

My every dream is curbed and guided by that which will make my daughter Easton happy, loved and thrive from her most deep place that she can’t even put a name to yet. All of us moms are human beings, right PEOPLE.com, and in this modern world — which is different from the way we were raised — life has become a bit more complex.

Never the less, whether old-fashioned or complicated by a mother’s work life, we ask our children to accept us as people.

Courtesy Elisabeth Rohm

Welcome to my world, Cookie! It’s called humanness and yet, despite the love I can show you and the constant charm and all the twinkly lights that I try to string for your soul, you’re kinda stuck with my current evolution and are on your own path of discovery to see what’s real for you, what’s lasting and where your deep sustenance will come from. I hope you are okay with what I’ve got to offer you.

To be an artist and live in random places and become random people and to ask that my sweet little girl acclimate to the most foreign of circumstances may seem odd to you, PEOPLE.com. Have I expected too much flexibility and wisdom from my darling, as I have flown the friendly skies and refused to be apart from her? Still it’s what I do to earn my living.

Montreal seemed so obvious for spring break and a new project. She’s in a multi-lingual school in California. I have a million reasons to show her that she belongs to something deep and authentic and that’s in her roots, like this is where my family is from, this is where they are buried, this is where my grandparents fell in love, this is where all my family’s hopes transpired and where my Opa left his hometown to come to the USA. She belongs to a history that is without words just like love is without words.

Even in our new apartment on the road, which can often be the case, I know the way my mom would do things, or my Aunt Nancy or Lolly or Jessica. No night where I don’t cook dinner when I can or have flowers showing off their fragrance in a new vase, where we delight in this new life and opportunity, in this most recent case in Montreal. It was an okay place for Easton to spend her spring break from kindergarten. I try very hard to keep it real.

Courtesy Elisabeth Rohm

We arrived in the rain with the nanny, how very Hollywood (haha)! It was dark, cold and not so pleasant, I thought with a bit of guilt. Geez. I’m a N.Y.C. girl who gave birth to a CALI girl (how could I feel bad about weather), so here we go, landing in a storm with its thunder and lightening.

But Easton found the storm magical! Not my plan, still there we were popping up in a weather-beaten Canada; nothing shiny about it. Too dark, too cold, too wet. We got dropped off at some flat, some night a week before production, which felt kinda normal to us. We lugged our suitcases full of toys, comfy clothes and personal stuff from home up the stairs soggily and then went off to the bistro right under our staircase afterwards for a bite of dinner.

And guess what? They spoke French. They said in French, I only know now: Does she eat bacon? I would have said yes, had I understood. And that was the start of our journey in some place where I speak less of the language than Easton does.

She ate the bacon at 930/630PM L.A. time in the Montreal. My little 5-year old, open to everything and all experiences, was meeting change with happiness and accepting, the which I needed to provide and feel fulfilled. I’m very proud of her openness and excitement about the new place, language and exploration of a new city.

Courtesy Elisabeth Rohm

This trip was so divine, no begging for space with her play dates. All us all the time! It was a new place with new patterns and new schedules. I’ve always imagined that bringing a kid on the road must be somewhat disturbing to their small town life, which is so steady and yet that has not been our experience.

In my small Westchester town, to be honest, my heart kinda broke when Mom sold our house, when I was sixteen. My scope was somewhat small and centered on a little clip of the world. We never relocated when I was little.

It does excite me, as I lean my elbows on some new table we happen to be having dinner at, with sheer excitement for change and newness, that Easton may feel like a real citizen of the world and remember how things shifted in Technicolor when we took up the corner of each others magic carpets and opened our hearts to a new place, people and culture.

Courtesy Elisabeth Rohm

To belong only one place, a place that defines you before you even have a choice in the matter, before you have opened to pain or love or breathe or death or history or change, is normal and also familiar. That’s how Mom raised me.

It is a distinct thought that I have with Easton each time we shuffle onto a plane that she grasps how big the world is and how much unchartered territory there is ahead of her.

For us in our childhood, trips were destinations, you know, vacations mostly. Some candy coated like Florida, where I got the chicken pox. That sucked. There were a few that were more challenging and exotic mostly for Dad’s work.

When my parents went to see my dad’s family or tried to embrace some European heritage, we’d pile onto the plane, sleep, write, play, end up in another country. That’s how it was in my childhood and travel has certainly been expanded upon tenfold with our lives today.

Wherever we are, we’ll cuddle all night. No matter where we end up. Whatever they say. Whatever is promised, we’ll always have each other. I’ll hold you all night. Hold you tight.

I’ve got no real answers other than my daughter gave me an infinite purpose that has been my guiding light since she was born. Now I have a true sense of service and a real center. When you love, you know the difference. And my kiddo, just like my mother, has defined that juicy word LOVE.

Yes, things have changed in the mother-daughter relationship, where my mom held it all down in our small town to us reinventing home from time to time.

Easton and I are on the road sometimes — this is the way of her mom’s life — but it is one that is paved with the love and the wisdom of those we’ve lost I hope and a real desire to discover the world together.

This is a change from childhood, but ours is no different than those that hold onto old-fashioned values in the simplest of ways.

Courtesy Elisabeth Rohm

Thanks, Mom!

Until next time,

– Elisabeth Röhm

More from Elisabeth’s PEOPLE.com blog series:

• Elisabeth Röhm’s Blog: Mom on the Run
• Elisabeth Röhm’s Blog: Where a Love of Learning Can Lead
• Elisabeth Röhm’s Blog: When a Stranger Needs You

Elisabeth Röhm has been blogging for PEOPLE.com for three years now.

The SAG Award-winning actress, 41, is starring as Deputy District Attorney Amanda Tate in the new CBS thriller series, Stalker, which premieres Wednesday at 10 p.m.

Her book, Baby Steps: Having the Child I Always Wanted (Just Not As I Expected), is available now.

She can be found on Facebook, Google + and on Twitter @ElisabethRohm.

In her latest blog, Röhm — mom to 6½-year-old Easton August with fiancé Ron Anthony — seeks advice on teaching her daughter to embrace her willful spirit without being disrespectful.

Courtesy Elisabeth Rohm

Mary, Mary quite contrary, how does your garden grow?

This is the poem that keeps looping in my head as I get to know the new baby Easton (major emotional growth this summer).

She is not so much my baby these days, but more like a back-talking teenager and I her humble employee. Visualize some Hollywood actress’s assistant having to succumb to the quirkiest of requests and not getting much thanks back in return. Ho hum!

“Who knew?” is what I keep saying, my friends. This was not written in any baby books I read. I mean, isn’t 6 years old still very, very, very young? Shouldn’t she still be all about mommy and clinging to me?

Instead, God’s gift to me was a beautiful, willful daughter who has been independent since the day she was born. But now, OH BOY! Especially, keeping in mind, she’s a hardcore negotiator like her lawyer grandfather, and she will push anyone until they have become exhausted just by her sheer stamina.

Maybe she’ll put her knack for argument to good use one day, becoming a civil rights attorney or activist. We could use more good ones in the world!

Rather than cuddling and holding hands incessantly with my tiny little 6-year-old girl, I get a cold shoulder these days along with a lot of NOs. My life is starting to resemble some of my friends’ agonizing descriptions of dealing with their teenagers.

But hey, slamming her door and barring me out, now that is where I do draw the line. It brings to mind a certain poor friend and his teenage daughter who demanded her dinner be left at her closed door on a tray. Okay, it’s not that bad!

We still have family dinners and plenty of mommy and daughter time, but it has been a little bit wobbly lately with the begging for play dates or sleepovers on a daily, even hourly, basis. Little Miss Independent. At least she can’t drive yet!

I’m realizing that the art of NO is a two way street. Especially knowing that one day she will have mobility. I’m gearing up for a little tough love these days that I wasn’t prepared for quite yet. The little girl that was once my delicate flower is now more like a blowtorch of happiness and zing!

Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
 how does your garden grow?
 With silver bells, and cockle shells,
 and pretty maids all in a row.

(Note: This Mother Goose poem has some old fashioned English meanings, but to me it’s more about my delightful darling one who is growing, quite lovely, and ooooh so contrary.)

Where was the chapter on how my 6-year-old would resemble a 16-year-old? I joke that I feel I’ve been relegated to the role of assistant or chauffeur, only to get my sweet sugar from her in the stillness of night during bedtime or if she wakes up searching for Mom after a bad dream.

My uses as of late are facilitating play dates, driving her hither and yonder, while also providing her with revolving credit for all the latest whims. Maybe I have over indulged her a little bit in the shopping category, what with Monster High dolls for every occasion and clothes shopping sprees as Stella McCartney reveals her new kids collections, rather than sticking solely with the far more reasonable Target selection.

Courtesy Elisabeth Rohm

I always say she’s my IVF miracle baby, so what if I spoil her a little? I can hear each of you say, well there is the problem! She’s spoiled. Yet, it runs a bit deeper than that, PEOPLE.com!

Let’s take it back a bit to her ultimate nature, level of maturity and also what some astrologist told me at one point as to who she is as a person: An individual who has her strong opinions. This, of course, is essential.

She is an Aries. She is fire, fire, fire. It’s her way or the highway. And like my father, the lawyer, she is a litigious soul, and one who feels that she must defend everyone’s rights. She is a righteous talker with deep compassion and sensitivity towards others, but most especially herself, who she defends on a regular basis.

So now we are dealing with a very particular nature that we want to nurture, but at the same time, create some strong boundaries. I want to encourage her spirit, yet her way of doing things is slightly terrifying considering not only her age, but also, what life will be like when there IS a boyfriend, four wheels and an engine with college around the corner.

She must hear us and respect our guidance, which we give lovingly with only her best interest in mind, just as you do with your little ones, right?

I’m faced now with my own issues of deciphering when I’m being a hoverer parent, as one friend calls those overbearing types and being strong, clear and not wishy-washy. I would have gladly played the hover role with a more timid child who still wears the dresses you suggest and holds a teddy bear tightly.

I’m in the process of adjusting to what type of mother I need to be for this very special and powerful person. Again, I’ll say I didn’t realize that she would be so defined at such a young age, but then again I was no wilting wallflower.

All my reactions come from the mommy perspective of being a worrier, but in comparison to the crazy things I did in the woods of upstate New York, she’s a walk in the spring rain; I guess I turned out okay, right? No broken bones or lockups.

Perhaps I should get control over my fears; it’s just that I don’t want to end up with no control over an older version of all this willfulness, where she does what she wants, when she wants, with whom she wants, and tells me very little. I can hear you all saying good luck.

Not to mention it makes me a little verklempt that my darling little girl needs to climb every mountain, every countertop, ledge, wall and person, scraping her body up with 10 new bruises a day. She’s definitely an athlete who needs to express herself in this way!

She is physical and strong like bull; a rough and tumble tomboy with a heart of gold, but watch out if she’s steamrolling. A little firecracker I’d say, who would like to be in clothes that are dirty and mismatched because that’s the way she likes it.

She likes to cross the street where and when she’d like to, instead of when Mommy says it’s safe to cross. “Please hold my hand … please, baby please, hold my hand!”

Instead of swinging on the swing set gently and wistfully, she has to swing so high and vigorously to get up to the very highest point and JUMP! Meanwhile, her little girlfriend is in a lemon yellow dress sitting right by my side, and she is more inclined to have bubble-blowing lessons from Easton’s mommy while giggling melodically.

I know of course the adventuresome girl, the powerful, fearless athletic type will ultimately lead an exciting life. Not a wallflower, but a trailblazer. It’s certainly paid off for me to be independent and of that same nature. But this is my little girl we’re talking about.

Courtesy Elisabeth Rohm

How do you support that spirit, avoid crushing her exuberance, and yet, start laying down the foundation for a more responsive and respectful relationship, PEOPLE.com?

We must help her be gentle and collaborative, and encourage her to see and hear other people, and act with more compassion than self-indulgence.

I definitely feel that I am on the mommy learning curve. Is anyone with me?

I think the best tool for us moms out there is to reflect and reassess who our child is as a person, and then we can give them the tools to become the best version of themselves. Isn’t our goal essentially just to have children that are well adjusted, happy, and thriving through life?

We all must find our voice as a parent, hold strong to our boundaries, but tighter to our babies while we still can.

Through it all, this will always be my favorite job, curveballs, confusion and all.

God bless all you mommies and daddies out there, and especially the ones that had to raise us.

Until next time …

– Elisabeth Röhm

More from Elisabeth’s PEOPLE.com blog series:

• Elisabeth Röhm’s Blog: Moms Are People Too
• Elisabeth Röhm’s Blog: Mom on the Run
• Elisabeth Röhm’s Blog: Where a Love of Learning Can Lead

Look who’s back: Our celeb blogger of three years, Elisabeth Röhm!

The American Hustle and SAG award-winning actress is set to star alongside Jennifer Lawrence in the new David O’Russell film, JOY, in theaters Christmas Day.

Röhm’s book, Baby Steps: Having the Child I Always Wanted (Just Not As I Expected), is available now.

She can be found on Facebook, Google + and on Twitter @ElisabethRohm.

In her latest blog, Röhm — mother to 7-year-old daughter Easton August — catches us up on her life during the past eight months.

Courtesy Elisabeth Rohm

It’s been too long, PEOPLE.com! I am so happy to be back with you and have missed every minute of our talking. It has been a long eight months away from all you ladies and our highs and lows, joys, adventures, and challenges.

Blogging these past three years has been such a surprising gift in my life as a mom and I have learned so much from this open dialogue we have shared. I am really looking forward to getting right back into it with each of you, no holds barred, where we can discuss the real issues and questions we face as parents.

So much has happened, more than I could ever report in one blog post, so, in the spirit of catching up, let’s put it in a nutshell!

Courtesy Elisabeth Rohm

Looking back to October, where we last left off, my family made one of the best decisions ever. We rescued our dog, Blue, from an L.A. shelter. Well, I should add we thought we rescued him, but he definitely rescued us.

There is no way we could ever imagine our lives without him, but, also, rescuing Blue has been a great learning opportunity for Easton: teaching her humanity as well as responsibility. We would not change it for the world! Not to mention, when I am sitting in my empty nest (which happens more and more), it is nice to have Blue as company. Easton has become quite the independent girl (as predicted).

The other big change has been going back to work full-time. Yes, there were many jobs over the years, including American Hustle, Heroes, Beauty and the Beast, Transit etc., but nothing that demanded as much time as a full-time gig on a TV show. This was definitely a harder adjustment, with a number of mommy fails in the process.

Working on Stalker with Dylan McDermott, Maggie Q and our brilliant creator Kevin Williamson was amazing. Though Easton’s schedule was hard enough to keep up with before I had full-time work, it certainly became a juggling act full of pain and triumph that I know all you working moms can relate too. From having to tell her goodnight over the phone sometimes to only being there for the last 30 minutes of trick or treating on Halloween, I know this is a struggle most families face — dads majorly included.

I would’ve loved to talk about it with you. We feel guilt for our absence, but we have to trust and know that we are making the right decisions for our families. Times like these make you grateful for those around you that help pick up the slack, what with family and the community of friends and other mommies we have come to count on.

Courtesy Elisabeth Rohm

November came with the start of the holiday season. What I love most about the holidays are the traditions we keep as a family. Every family has their traditions and they are well worth their simplicity and accountability.

Whether it’s saying one thing you’re grateful for at the Thanksgiving dinner table, seeing your child get closer to their aunts and uncles or eating in the same restaurant, sitting at the same table, every Christmas Eve, or doing a “polar bear plunge” on New Year’s Day, I think it is important to maintain your traditions. They are the unique little things that really define you as a family and as a person. I know for Easton, as boring as the same old might feel, they also ground her and show her who she can count on in this complicated life.

Speaking of tradition, for the first time, the question of Santa’s existence was raised. In the Röhm household, we would like to believe that Santa’s existence would never be doubted, however you cannot control what your child hears. Whether it’s at school with older friends who no longer believe or older siblings, the question will come again.

Courtesy Elisabeth Rohm

So, how do we protect our children’s innocence, PEOPLE.com? How do we keep the magic? The innocence. That’s been a big one on our plates this year as our precocious Easton has matured and gravitated to the older girls and athletic boys. AI YI YI!!!

Speaking of magic, the tooth fairy started visiting Easton this year! We were stressed because her grownup teeth started growing before the lil’ ones fell out, like the two rows of shark’s teeth. There was emotion and questions and questions and embarrassment. Many dental visits later, finally Easton has started losing teeth like crazy, it seems!! One wiggled itself out, and then they all seemed ready to jump ship.

I have to say, though, it was fun creating new memories for my little girl. She was relieved and the tooth fairy was ready for action! Thank God no more tears, only success in her gaping beautiful mouth! Being different can hurt like hell.

Courtesy Elisabeth Rohm

At the beginning of the New Year, I was headed to Boston to start filming Joy. Easton was able to come visit me in one of our favorite cities (we shot American Hustle there). My little California girl definitely loves her sunshine, but it was an amazing opportunity for her to experience a real winter for the first time. Snowy MAGIC! SNOWFLAKES! And it just so happened to be the snowiest winter in New England’s recorded history, right New Englanders?

It was a struggle for most, but not for Easton. Climbing up mounds of snow, ice skating, snow angels — she loved it all.

The best thing about Boston though, was finding the learning opportunities for Easton everywhere. So much history! We even did the Freedom Trail! How do we parents find authentic learning experiences for your little ones that excite them?

Courtesy Elisabeth Rohm

I was able to come back from Boston just in time for Easton’s birthday, which is shortly followed by my birthday. April is a big month for us. Easton turned 7 and I turned 42. We celebrated by driving down to Disneyland (Easton, myself, and three of her best friends). Talk about taking on a handful.

Are you guys like me, in the sense that you say that you are going to do something, and not realize, until you’re on the highway with four little girls throwing wet soggy banana peels in your shiny Prius, that you may have taken on a bit too much? Luckily, Easton’s dad joined us the next day to help manage the troops.

However, the sleepover was a one-man show and I, having survived, will never forget how lucky I was to have that night alone with the four sweet little girls before our FIRST EVER Disneyland experience. She loved it! I loved it!!!

Now, do we all remember that show called Are you Smarter Than a 5th grader? I have learned that I am as smart as my first grader, but wondering if I’ll survive my second grader this September. Embarrassing, right? No, reality!! I think I might need to hit the books myself this summer if I plan on keeping up with her.

Again, this is only first grade! And for us, homework after dinner was a first. Not daunted by much, but still I struggled and won’t lie about it. Can anyone provide me with the Cliff Notes for second grade?

Courtesy Elisabeth Rohm

Easton has also started all new activities this year. We have been focusing on horseback riding, tennis, and music. Watching your child develop any skill can be really exciting as a parent and suddenly you can see the future of possibility, but at the same time, you don’t want to overwhelm them with the pressure of success.

When they show serious promise at one thing in particular — with Easton it’s tennis — how far is too far? How much focus and discipline is too much and does it take away the joy of new experiences? We struggle with this to date.

How do you find that balance between fun and focus? She’s so darn good at it, says her coach?!!! Isn’t balance more important? Though I would say doing one thing all the time is what makes us great. What do you think?

Courtesy Elisabeth Rohm

There are so many more stories and questions I have for you, PEOPLE.com. We missed out on a lot with each other over these last eight months.

But let’s get back in action, get to the heart of the matter and face our biggest fears and triumphs as parents together. Writing this blog has made things very real and honest. I have missed that dialogue together. People don’t often say IT as it is as we do here!

I look forward to your feedback because this is truly an open blog, as you all know. Please leave in the comments your thoughts, your questions and your ideas for new discussions. I’ve learned from you it’s all about starting the conversation and seeing where things go from there.

I say welcome back to YOU!

Until next time,

— Elisabeth Röhm

More from Elisabeth’s PEOPLE.com blog series:

• Elisabeth Röhm’s Blog: Gone Baby Gone
• Elisabeth Röhm’s Blog: Moms Are People Too
• Elisabeth Röhm’s Blog: Mom on the Run

Look who’s back: Our celeb blogger of three years, Elisabeth Röhm!

The American Hustle and SAG award-winning actress is set to star alongside Jennifer Lawrence in the new David O’Russell film, JOY, in theaters Christmas Day.

Röhm’s book, Baby Steps: Having the Child I Always Wanted (Just Not As I Expected), is available now.

She can be found on Facebook, Google + and on Twitter @ElisabethRohm.

In her latest blog, Röhm — mother to 7-year-old Easton August — travels to Washington, D.C., and hopes the trip will leave a lasting impression on her daughter.

Courtesy Elisabeth Rohm

We will never forget … always in our memory.

Summer is all about the small and big adventures we share with our little ones, getting lost a little bit, wandering together and making time for each other. Making memories.

Some of what we most look forward to are the trips we can take, perhaps traditions shared every summer or the lasting impression of new lands, new borders, new tastes and smells as we watch our lil one’s world become a bigger, brighter, broader place.

I remember summer as being such a significant time of the year in my family. Things are less busy, and Mom and Dad always had more time for me. From the long drives in the car to Vermont, to visiting my Aunt Laurie and cousin Jaime in Memphis, to an epic trip I took with my father to Japan where I discovered I was a towering blonde amazon.

Not to mention, my 16-year-old coming of age trip to Greece, and we’ll leave it at that, if you know what I mean!

As I looked ahead at the easy breezy months of Easton’s vacation, I was so excited to add Washington, D.C., to our list for many reasons. One was the extra special and meaningful reason why we were invited. I was asked by the American Heart Association to speak on their behalf of my mother’s memory and the importance of CPR training and how it might have affected our family on a deeply personal level.

Courtesy Elisabeth Rohm

I know I’ve talked to you ladies about that here, PEOPLE.com. It would be meaningful to me, and I hoped it would be inspiring for Easton one day when she too looked back on the memory of going to D.C. to hear her Mom give a speech about her Grandmother.

Losing my mother to heart disease at far too early an age was especially painful because it was long before Easton could really create a deep lasting recollection of her. Also, I wanted to share with Easton how we can turn our hurt and loss into helping others. I know we’ve discussed the question of how do we turn our kids into future philanthropists and people of service, and this seemed to be a good opportunity. Hopefully, she too might care one day to do the same. Not to mention, she’d get to hear all about her Grandma — or Grammy — instead of just knowing her as, “Your mom.”

My mother was a wonderful woman who was devoted to helping people. She was passionate about speaking up and being an advocate of others, which is what she would have expected of me and why I’m dedicated to helping the American Heart Association.

Courtesy Elisabeth Rohm

While in D.C., sharing my story at the American Heart Association and the Ministry of Science and Technology of the People’s Republic of China‘s celebratory memorandum of understanding signing event, was truly an honor. The agreement will help advance CPR training and cardiovascular science sharing in order to help save more lives. You can learn more about the agreement here.

(To learn more about what the American Heart Association is doing domestically with their Hands Only CPR campaign please visit www.heart.org/HandsOnlyCPR.)

The momentous moment we had with the American Heart Association could have only been matched with the magic that was being in Washington, D.C. We had spent the winter in Boston where we filmed JOY. During our time there we got to walk the steps of the freedom trail, and Easton seemed to really respond to learning about our country’s history.

Being in D.C. brought this to a whole new level. I even got to brush up on my history, as it had been some time since I’d turned my mind to such facts about this free nation in which we are so blessed to live. The White House, The Capitol, and all of the monuments, you really do feel like you are in the presence of some of the most historical and influential moments of our time.

Not to mention, the small moments of sharing the unique and sentimental feeling of an East Coast summer with my sun-kissed California beach girl, who had never caught a firefly in the palms of her hands, gotten drenched in an unexpected thunderstorm, or felt the thick as butter humid air envelope her body in a way that I had always known growing up.

Overall, it was a wonderful, enlightening, educational, and extremely meaningful trip to our nation’s capital. Being able to share moments like this with my little girl make it all worth it.

Courtesy Elisabeth Rohm

It still saddens me that Easton will never truly have the kind of relationship every kid deserves to have with their Grammy, but moments like the ones we had in D.C., remind me that she is still very much alive and present through me. Without the memory of her strength and humanitarianism, I am not sure I would be able to continue to harness my grief and sadness in such a productive way with the American Heart Association. I find that through these moments, I am not only able to feel closer to my mother, but Easton will also be able to see her through me.

We are truly blessed to have been able to go to such a wonderful place, working with such an amazing organization with such an important message that will always keep me close to my mother’s memory.

Until next time, PEOPLE.com …

— Elisabeth Röhm

More from Elisabeth’s PEOPLE.com blog series:

• Elisabeth Röhm’s Blog: Getting Back to Business
• Elisabeth Röhm’s Blog: Gone Baby Gone
• Elisabeth Röhm’s Blog: Moms Are People Too